Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Break-Up

I recently had to break-up one of my close relationships. It was time. There were obligatory dates where I just felt no connection and needed to make a clean break. That's right folks--it is the start to the second week of NOT PUMPING. I recently had a discussion with another new ATL mommy about how we were both considering silencing the Medela at work--you'd be surprised at the mixed emotions you have over a 2 lb, battery operated udder machine.

I wanted to last at least a year with breastfeeding. There is no question that I'll continue well into the coming months. I cannot imagine weaning Miles from any of the sessions we have--and he certainly is not interested or ready. But, I also wanted to last a year of exclusively feeding him breastmilk. Well folks, the udders were never stellar performers, and over the past few months, we had to supplement with formula. Eliminating pumping completely (although, I will still hand express bottles when the lactation spirit moves me) will necessitate more formula, but being 3 days away from his 1st b-day, I am feeling okay about it all.

The break-up was gradual. I started reducing by one pumping session a day. And then I got to the point I am at now where I still bring the pump to work, but let it sit under my desk.

I cannot say I'll miss the multiple times a day I had to clean the parts to the pump, or the noise it made at work, or the middle of the night "hook ups," but this decision does bring to mind that Miles is probably on his tail end of breastfeeding, and it makes me sad. So, until (if) another child enters the picture, the Medela and I are breaking up.

3 comments:

  1. GOOD RIDDANCE!! Congratulations on your recent separation :)

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  2. Hi Ali,

    I totally understand how going through this can make you sad. Someone once told me that "mothers have to wean too"...now, obviously we're not the ones who are BFing, but we do have to cope slowly with each of the steps involved in our children becoming non-breastfed babies...Step 1: Break up with Mr. Medela Ameda Evenflo.

    You have done amazingly well nursing Miles up to this point. You have survived the nursing-working woman dance longer than most women have and for that you should be proud (and even a bit smug, just as long as you never ever ever tell anyone).

    Be thankful for the memories of those close and intimate moments you shared with only one other person on this earth...and try your best to forever put out of your mind the rythmic drone of the boob machine, accompanied by the sloshing of milk into awaiting pools below.

    Yeah, I know, being a mommy has turned me into an emotional, psuedo-poetic wanna be philosopher...I apologize :0)

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  3. P.S. I meant good riddance of the pumping...that didn't sound fun :)

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