Sunday, July 26, 2009
Now that the news is leaked (and we have clarified the confusion--no, Miles is not going to model for Apple and Eve juice...but we welcome any interest! ha ha), here is some general background. Let me break it down by answering the most popular comments and questions.
-Was this a surprise? Were you trying? Kind of an odd question. Kids, let's be honest, there is always an element of "trying" for any couple who gets pregnant, no? Was it a surprise? Yes. We had already planned to start "formally trying" (is that awkward?) this fall, with the hopes of having a summer 2010 baby. Here is where I get all anatomical on you. SKIP TO THE NEXT QUESTION IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY INFORMATION ABOUT MY REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM! (Break--I generate a lot of my courage/stupidity/willingness to share intimate details no one may want to hear from my blog mentor: Dooce aka Heather Armstrong. Amazing reads. go-indulge--add to your Google reader.) Due to breastfeeding, I had 11 lovely months sans ovulation. Then, bingo/bango. And everything seemed to be like clockwork. I started charting (without the temperature b/c it can be unreliable while breastfeeding), and was 99% sure of my ovulating again. I am one of those lucky women who has always has regular periods--albeit intense, and even gets the pleasure of experiencing mittelschmerz. I can even tell you the side I felt it on--right. We should have been well protected after that time for any kind of, um, activity. Well, the next month comes around and nothing happens. Hmmm...on a whim, I take one of the old pregnancy tests I had from 2 years ago. Positive. HUH? So, I bought a few more boxes. Same result. So, I go to the doctor and get an ultrasound. Intrauterine pregnancy. BUT, the gestational age is only 4 weeks. According to my regular 28 day cycle and "ovulation," I should have been closer to 7 weeks. What does this mean? I must have ovulated a few weeks after I thought I had. Here's to regular periods after breastfeeding. After an u/s at week 7 and then another at week 10 (above), we have one Kilo with a strong heartbeat. And we couldn't be happier. :) It's a few months earlier than we had hoped, but we'll take it! We recognize how blessed we are with the ease of which I got pregnant. I will never take that for granted. Never.
-How are you feeling? AMAZING! Anyone who has been a regular blog lurker since before Miles was born knows that I endured the most challenging 20 weeks of pregnancy with regards to nausea and general sickness. It was like I was on the Turkish Twist amusement ride 24 hours a day, and anytime the ride came to a stop and I ripped my sickly body off from the wall, the ride started back up again. I hated pregnancy. And then there were the other obstacles that crept up along the way (I don't want to dwell here). So, in comparison, the past 12+ weeks have been joyous. I have had moments of nausea, but I welcome it. I know this sounds strange, but I actually have the strength to be fatigued! I was too busy being sick with Miles so I never felt tired last time. Now, I am actually finding myself thinking--boy, I totally need a nap! The cruddy thing--who naps with a 14 month old? Ah well. I have the desire (note I said desire, my follow through has been poor) to keep up rigorous exercise and may actually even need to as I have gained 3lbs (as opposed to losing 5-7lbs last time)! I do get some panic from time to time--why am I not deathly ill? Is something wrong? And then I just have to release and let go...and breathe.
-Are you still seeing Dr Evil? Pardon my language, but HELL NO. I changed practices to one that is closer to our new house (but affiliated with the baby factory, Northside Hospital. Eek! Help me!). It is a one man practice, and despite some reservations, I am just thrilled with my experience with Dr Moore. He has nothing but glowing reviews from anyone I have talked to and amazing reviews from the research I have done. He does all his own ultrasounds (4D to boot), and really listens to my concerns. His wife had a doula, which was important as I think I may hire one this time. He is also just...well...chill. He assuages my concerns in regards to being high risk again, but says that until there is cause to worry, we will just monitor more regularly are just going to enjoy the ride. And you know what? I am.
-Will you create a new blog? No, I won't generate a new blog. I can barely keep up with this one! The focus will just shift a little, and over time, will probably turn into an online receptacle for family pictures.
-What is the gestational name? Kilometer. Or Kilo for short. And NO--this name will not show up in any iteration in this baby's official name. We thought it was gender neutral and was well paired with Miles. Listen. I know many of you are like--you are insane. You are crazy. What is with this gestational name, anyway? I have a hard time talking in generalities (i.e. "it" or "the baby.") This is a life form that has individuality and while in the womb takes on a personality of his/her own. I truly think it makes it seem more real by using a gestational name. You may find it annoying, but this is how I better connect with our fetus. And the first rule of motherhood--you need to ignore other people's opinions.
-Are you going to find out if it is a boy or girl? Probably. But in the meantime, please don't try to "will" this baby into one gender, or predict for us. Or if you do--keep the thoughts to yourselves. It strangely puts unneeded pressure on me and the fact remains that Kilo's sex was determined 3 months ago when Eric contributed his load of the chromosomes--so blame him if it isn't what you wanted. Yes, it would be awesome if we had a girl to sort of finish the family story (I am not sure we could afford a third!), but I also have a real strong desire to have another boy to give Miles the experience of a live-in best friend. Over time, I am just adoring the mother-son relationship that has developed--and there is nothing like seeing a father and son interact. I keep thinking about wanting to hold another little boy. Ugh, I just want to hold another baby!
-I knew it! I totally guessed. Well, good for you Sherlock. I am never quite sure how to respond when that is the first thing out of someone's mouth. Perhaps it is the hormones, but my suggestion for anyone who is met with finding out someone is pregnant is to congratulate her first...then turn the focus back to how clever you are. (I may be feeling a lot better this time around, but the hormones still get me moody!) We did find out about 9 weeks ago when I was 4 weeks pregnant, but didn't try to make it known! Well, save the random dude at the park Eric divulged our secret to a few weeks ago. Why? He just had the urge to tell someone. And for the reference to new exciting Heintz family news. There is more than just Kilo I was referring to in previous posts--we are getting a new car, replacing carpet in our house, and finally getting estimates on a bathroom remodel! In response to the getting nurturing dolls for Miles--I have wanted to do that since before I was pregnant. Both my brothers had baby dolls, and I decided to wait until he was over a year to think about getting a doll. It just so happens that this might help with the transition, too. And the hot tub I didn't hang out in on our Totaway. Okay, that could have been revealing--but I am not a big fan of hot tubs, anyway. I have a real hard time regulating my body temperature-- on our Asheville anniversary trip a few years back, I had to get out of the hot tub at our B&B b/c I thought I was going to pass out.
Closing Thoughts: There will be so much more to share in the coming months, and this blog will be the written warehouse of experiences--rife with thrill AND fear. I'll try to keep my long-winded sentiments to the blog. As I said before, you can read and follow at your leisure to whatever degree you like. I never want to force our lives on others...but I would like to "riff" for a moment:
For me, this truly feels like a first pregnancy, so I may come across in person, and most definitely on the blog, as that annoying pregnant woman who cannot get over the newness of each day. There may be belly shots again, I may invite others to rub the belly...and I certainly will "ooh" and "ahh" over the thoughts of tiny little baby clothes again. I am not going to apologize for that. This baby is a miracle that I can actually enjoy prior to his/her birth. I felt robbed of that with Miles. I felt robbed of a lot with Miles. I am also just having the best month with Miles, and it is getting me more and more excited to experience it all again (but also slightly sad that it won't just be Miles anymore...). I welcome others excitement, but certainly don't expect it. This past week I have been met with a wide variety of reactions to the news--some of which made me feel sad and uncomfortable. I recognize that my intense care of what other people think or feel can be a weakness at times, and perhaps this is one of those times. Please know that our extreme joy and happiness does not detract from our care and concern, or our ability to celebrate and share in life's miracles and experiences of others.
I'll end by sending out a blanket "thank you" and "lots of love" back to everyone. We are continually grateful for the overwhelming interest and support...Lord knows come February (please not earlier!) we'll need it more than ever.
From the sleep deprived brain of Ali at 10:05 PM