Monday, August 31, 2009

Lovely Lady Lumps--week 18

Lest you forgot I am with child (sometimes I feel like I do!), here are some 18 week shots.
From Lovely Lady Bumps
From Lovely Lady Bumps
About a week ago I felt the first twinges of Kilo moving! (I almost used the word "twitterings" and realized that within the past year, that has a COMPLETELY new--and redonkulous--reference. I sold my soul to Facebook, but I will never succumb to Twitter--even after my own company is now a regular tweeter.) Unlike Miles's popcorn circus moves, this feels much different. Aunt Carol had a great way of putting it--like little fishes in my belly. I now have a visualization of Swedish fish in a little pond above my pubic bone flitting about. I should pull up the archives of my 18 week belly with Miles. I think I am pulling slightly ahead of where I was last time--at least in the bedonk area! I am curious to see if I will get a lot bigger than I did with Miles. Well, clearly I will at some point because this boy is staying put for the whole ride. It has already been agreed upon in contract form; Kilo cannot retract (I know his parents...)

Things continue to go well with this little boy, and I couldn't be more grateful. What is nice is that in terms of material preparation, we are pretty set. Outside of getting some winter newborn outfits (thank goodness it is consignment season!), there are only a few items on our list of "must buy." And with Kilo donning the title of "hand-me-down" kid and zero expectation (or real desire) to have any more pre-birth celebrations (i.e. showers), we really are fortunate to rely on the amazing volume of "stuff" that Miles acquired. Additionally, we are getting some amazing hand-me-downs from some of his friends at school; we even got another car seat and 2 bases to use with Miles's older infant car seat and bases. I am still avoiding the task of researching a double stroller, and need to figure out how to generally accommodate two little boys in this tiny house. Luckily, at the very least the first 4 months will be comprised of putting our co-sleeper next to our bed as we did with Miles. Our leaning right now is to turn our second bedroom into a quasi-Kilo room. We won't transform it into another nursery, but will probably put a crib, dresser and changing area in there. (Sorry family! You will have to stay in hotels now.) I would love to get the same eco-friendly crib Miles has, but lord that was expensive. In my quest to find an eco-friendly alternative, not much under $300 has surfaced. There is the very basic IKEA white crib, but that seems to industrial and "sad" to me. And then, I stumbled upon a new Graco Eco-friendly crib that is exclusively sold through...ugh, I cannot even write it...WALMART. The color and style do not even closely reflect our family's aesthetic, but folks, it is under $200!!!
So, this may be the winner! We will probably keep all of the light wood "adult" furniture in the 2nd bedroom, and just have this sore thumb crib at one end. I do want to get another Flensted mobile to hang above the crib, and may have to get my hands on another Charley Harper print to hang.

The second time around things are feeling less stressful and more "familiar." But here is my honesty check: what does worry me is that I know with baby #2 (and with us having the luxury of having another boy to be familiar with), that people will assume that we will be capable of transitioning without much help. I do have some low grade anxiety about the fact that with limited family around, I am going to end up more harried (unkempt and aching for regular showers and a magical dish fairy to live at our house) and exhausted than I could be with my family and in-laws around. There is something to be said about the power of family when a new baby arrives. Heck, it was the land of make-believe when Nana was here this summer! What I do have comfort in is that we have such great friends down here that although I certainly don't expect them to volunteer help, I will put out a premature SOS (and that is the only premature offering I intend on giving! Kilo--I banish you to the uterus for at least 37 weeks!) that come Kilo's arrival, I may put you all on speed dial for some emergency help. This concern resonated with me quite clearly this weekend when we were at a Cross Country function and a parent said, "the increase from 1 to 2 children is harder than 2 to 3, or 3 to 4. You think running around with 1 is tiring...just wait!" Thanks for the vote of confidence Mr B...have another glass of wine; maybe you can not only scare me, but start with some insults, too. Damn preggo hormones.

The truth is, people get "stupid" mouth around pregnant women. It's like the hormones that turn the pregnant woman's brain into Quaker oatmeal somehow transfer to those around her. I cannot tell you how many dumb things I have heard recently. A random woman from Eric's adult running group on Tuesday nights said congratulations on the new baby. I thanked her and thought we were done. But then she has the audacity to whisper to me (and I am talking hand to the mouth leaning into my ear), "I hope it is a girl." WTF? I have NO idea who you are, and you certainly have no right to say something like that. I immediately said, "well, we already found out a few weeks ago it is another boy." She curled up into her little hole where I hope she never emerges from again (or at least until my pregnancy rage subsides). Stupid mouth comment #2. In talking with some mom friends about delivery, the whole idea of natural versus "assisted" (i.e. medicated) birth emerged. Mom #1 makes a comment that getting the epidural was the best thing she did with her 2nd baby--that she was able to enjoy the birth rather than be in pain. I said that I think it is great that there are options for women to decide how they want their birth to be experienced and that with Kilo I am going to have a Doula and make preparations to go natural, with the understanding that anything is an option. Mom #1 says, "If you allow yourself the option, you are going to get an epidural. No question. I don't care who you have suggesting you don't use it, once the doctor gives you the option, you will make the smart choice to go pain free." My response? Silence. What else can you do? Stupid mouth comment #3. I was chatting it up with some work folk about babies and said that I had some concerns that Miles was weaning from nursing, but that it was a phase and he is pretty consistently nursing 2-3 times a day again. Seasoned mother #1 says, "that is just weird. I think it would gross me out if my child could walk up to me and ask to nurse. Does your pediatrician know? Is she okay with it?" First, we have a male pediatrician and yes, for the time being he is okay with it. Second, Miles isn't walking, yet (ha ha!) and third, he isn't talking, either. Well, he does have many signs and at least understands "milk/nurse." I did put it out there that the AAP recommends breastfeeding up until 12 months and Miles is only 15!

Speaking of 15 months, Miles had his 15 month check up last week. Eric pulled on his big boy loafers and went all by himself. I say that in jest, but the truth is that I have predominantly been the one to accompany Miles to all of his pedi and PT appointments. I have the "luxury" of taking time off from work, whereas it is a lot harder as a teacher to be absent. For this appointment, I had a work retreat during the week and was on the 50th floor of the Four Seasons brainstorming for days on end. The food and view was nice, but I was so angry I had to miss the appointment, especially because it was with a new pedi. All in all, I am glad we made the switch. Eric had a list of questions that we (ahem, I) prepared and the Dr fielded them all well. We will get a new lead screen soon, and the only other thing is if Miles isn't walking by 18 months we need to consider PT again. I really think we'll walk before then. If not, I am considering lying to the doctor. I just don't want to do months of PT again! And Miles needs to get 4 or so more words by 18 months--luckily, signs count. This past month Miles has picked up a handful of new signs, but still prefers to talk in his native Mandarin, or Urdu, or whatever crazy language it is he knows. And then there is the classic "grunt and point." Our favorite, though, is his cell phone "sign." I walked into the room the other week and he had taken an infant rattle-thing that looks like a foot, and had it to his head and he was saying "hi, hi." I realized he was pretending it was a phone. And then at school, Ms JoAnn said that he holds his hand up to his ear and talks to you--and they play a game "can you call Mommy?" And then he does the hand to the ear. Hilarious...until I realized that he must have picked up on this b/c of how often we are on the phone. I need to get this on video for archive sake. Especially because the novelty is starting to wear off.

Finally, our Miles continues to blow the head circumference chart out of the water, and lag on length and weight. 80 plus % for head circumference (no wonder he cannot walk--that's a lot to balance!), and 13% for weight. He is still 21lbs. This doesn't concern me terribly, but the fact that 2 babies at his childcare (a 7 month and a 5 month old) WEIGH MORE THAN HE DOES! Fortunately, if the way Kilo is growing (rather, the way my a$$ is growing) is any indication of his life outside of my womb, we won't have as much of a problem working our way up on the weight curve.

Here was Mommy's attempt at taking a first day of school picture all by herself without the flash. August 17.
From First day of school; random photoshoot
And then this picture was taken yesterday, August 31, when we were trying to capture Miles taking 1-2 unassisted steps and talking on his imaginary cell phone. You'll notice 3 things: 1. we did not capture unassisted steps or the imaginary phone, and 2. This child's hair grows like a chia pet. 3. Despite his new fascination with all afternoon temper tantrums, his eyes will continue to melt anyone's heart.
From First day of school; random photoshoot


  1. Where to start?! As for the stupid comments - gee whiz! What are people thinking!?! You are right. They are insensitive inane remarks - ignore them!
    You look pretty slender to me, honey, although I am glad to see baby Kilo growing apace and fluttering away - butterfly kisses.
    The crib looks nice, and while it's not the same wood, it seems complimentary and a simple aesthetic. You like simple. Gingerbread-y - now that would be jarring.
    I absolutely would not worry about Miles needing to nurse for now, nor his propensity for foreign languages nor his lack of independent walking. I can't imagine what good PT would do! Doctors have to say these things because they are working with arbitrary milestones they have studied in med school. We have similar standards in early childhood ed, that experienced teachers know do not fit every child, nor should they. Listen to the doctor, smile and nod your head. Miles is fine!
    I wish, wish, wish I could come and help readily when Kilo makes his appearance. I promise to help in February, and if you make room for me and want me, I can come again during the summer.
    Hang in there little Heintz family!

  2. Whew! I wish I had more energy to write a witty reply, but I am beat!

    oooo! Little fishies swimming? Sounds like a the neatest feeling.

    If you're looking for some more prints... point a girl in the right direction... she has power to make things happen...

    Oh, where people get off telling you how to raise your kids. It strikes me funny that moms didn't learn to keep their mouths shut when THEY were the ones receiving inane comments!

    Miles is giving tantrums? But he's so cute!!!!

    TAKE CARE of you! I LOVE YOU!

  3. Congrats on baby number two!!! Best of luck to you all...I found your blog while looking for ideas for my little one who will be the big 1 soon! I was interested in what you posted on in regards to music "that is adult palatable" and that your brother created 4 cd's for you. Please please share these artist and song titles with me.I would love to have this adult palatable music at her party. Thanks!

  4. oops! I forgot to give you my email address so you could send me those artist and music suggestions, thanks!

  5. Grandpa notes the Miles looks to be a spitting image of his Opa Heintz, and I agree!

  6. Miles is such a sweetie! :)) Glad to see you're doing well with the pregnancy - never mind all the assvice :))

  7. Miles has the sweetest, biggest eyes! I do like the crib you picked out for Kilo (even if it's doesn't match the rest of the room). I had to laugh about the phone thing, because Ella does that too. She picks up anything, from the remote to an actual phone, holds it to her ear and says "hiya" over and over. They are so much fun at this age!

    As for Miles not saying much in English yet, I have a few friends who didn't speak a word (English or Urdu) for years. They are some of the smartest people I know, and they just didn't feel like speaking yet. Miles will get there--he has two loving, involved parents and what sounds like a great daycare situation.

    Hugs to the family!

  8. OMG! Who spewed that craziness at work? I'm concerned about the eventual deterioration of your mental health just by being around those nutballs. There's something in the water there...