Monday, October 5, 2009

Tampon Timpani

I'll admit that part of this pregnancy has been a matter of me coming to terms with the fact that:

1. we are actually having another baby in a matter of months (am I already past 1/2 way?),
2. that this may be my last pregnancy (so let's enjoy each and every kick and contraction!), and
3. that soon I am going to be completely outnumbered by boys

I've always had the sense that I am a boy factory, but there is a part of me that mourns the thought of not raising a girl. Mostly because I have the most amazing relationship with my mother. Never being the mother-of-the bride, not having a younger compadre to clue me in to the pulse of current fashion and trends (I'll need to refer to my friend Schlotty for the rest of my life), not having a daughter to accompany me to "girly" movies, not painting nails and braiding hair, or helping buy a dress for prom...and then there is the fear that my boys will grow up and grow out of the "I'm obsessed with Mommy" phase (that I secretly love right now) in exchange for inconsistent communication and phone calls. Sorry Seth and Nich--but you have to admit I am in touch with Mom far more than either of you-but that's just the nature of many mother-daughter relationships. I also had this plan of getting a really good quality charm bracelet on the advent of the birth of my daughter, so that I could spend her life accumulating different charms to then give to her when she gets married. Well, at week 13 of this pregnancy, there went that idea and I deleted all of my Internet bookmarks with charm bracelet options. (Although, I may still want to get a charm bracelet someday, and will perhaps pass it down, along with my nice jewelry, to a niece...or a daughter-in-law? If Eric ever comes to any of you seeking X-mas and birthday ideas for me--lead him to a charm bracelet. Right after the eco-friendly Electrolux vacuum. Priorities people; we are still the proud parents of the used Dirt Devil we bought from my grad school friend R.L. almost 5 years ago)Luckily, I still have a number of opportunities to be the cool Aunt to some nieces (no pressure ladies). And I DID have the "trendy" Aunt from outside of NY who kept me feeling hipster cool when I was growing up; I will never forget my Aunt Dilys sending me jelly bracelets and awesome appliqued vests.

BUT...I can also completely defer "the talk" and all related conversations to Eric. Granted, I am the one who took graduate level sexuality courses and have no problem talking about safe sex, STIs and the like to anyone who will listen, but there is something truly entertaining about having Eric do the education. Heck, hilarity ensues when I ask him to clean Miles's nether region during baths! (In the beginning his response was--"it's weird for me to clean it." I was all--"weirder than me? This is your territory honey; you have more knowledge about the equipment than I do!" Luckily, he is much better now.) And, I can leave things like a box of tampons on the shelf under the "don't ask don't tell" policy. (Unless you are my high school friend Dan who was coerced by his mom to buy sanitary supplies from CVS when we were in high school. Oh the shame!).

Folks, that hope was dashed recently when Miles discovered a stash of mysterious pastel sample boxes in our bathroom. For the past 2 weeks, I have been finding tampons all over the house.

First--WARNING "TMI" ALERT!! (but if you want to have a baby, get used to it. And if you are long-time reader of the blog, this should be no surprise)--I haven't needed tampons in a zillion years. There was that whole pregnancy bit, the 11+ weeks of bleeding post birth where you are instructed not to use tampons (but get to rock the hospital latticed underwear stuffed with super absorbent diapers, I mean postpartum "pads,") and then the 11 months of breastfeeding induced amenhorrehea... then-BOOM-I was pregnant again.

Second, I am not afraid he is using up my stash for the year that my ovaries start working again as I don't even use the kind of tampons Miles has an affinity for (how's that for TMI?) as I prefer the more inconspicuous seventh generation brand that fits in any size pocket--even the coin pocket. (I know--no applicator? How gross! Heard it ever since I used ones like that in high school. And again, anyone wanting to have a baby better get real intimate with her body. Just wait until you see "the afterbirth" and experience those initial weeks right after delivery. I find it very strategic that things like post partum bleeding get left out of most birth stories.) I collect sample boxes from the "sample of the days" that Schlotty sends out with the intention of having a stash for guests. Sorry guests, my stash is depleted.

Third, I am ALL about imaginative play. So, Miles continues to play with the tampons as long as they don't go near his mouth. The best is when he figured out how to unwrap them and started to use one as a drumstick and then a hammer for his toy.
From October 2009: Flood, non-toy pics, tree pics for school, etc
Every morning he takes out a few select toys from under our bed while we get ready. It's that, or he is clawing at your leg wanting to be held or trying to explore more dangerous items like the trash can, flat iron or the dreaded toilet bowl. I tried to capture his delight in figuring out the alternative purposes of a tampon, but pictures don't do it all justice.

In other non-toy related fun, Miles has also become attached to this green "rope" that separated some pots we bought months back from IKEA. He essentially picks it up from our grass, and charters it over to our back rock path. Between the rope, tampons and my hair, I am not sure what is the more beloved "lovey." (Nah, it is clearly my hair--especially while nursing.)
From October 2009: Flood, non-toy pics, tree pics for school, etc

And to close, some video of Miles walking sans pants. Most of you moms of toddlers will be all "Pee-shaw; that was SO 4 months child has just finished reading the second Harry Potter book while spending time on the big kid potty since s/he is almost potty trained." But remember our Miles likes to take his sweet time in hitting milestones. He still prefers to crawl because that kid can give Usain Bolt a run for his money (and he makes a lot of money now) in the 100 M dash, but he has finally started volunteering to walk without our prompting over the past 2 weeks. I couldn't resist Eric taking video of our nightly walking session because the whole "kid from the waist up" "baby from the wait down" made me laugh. That, and my comment about black bean mash being on his crotch. I also added some secret footage I got later in the night of Miles on his 2 business calls. I have no idea what he is saying (remember he doesn't speak English--I am convinced now it really is Urdu), but it makes us laugh. Ignore Eric's comment about only having carrots in our spinach salad.

23+ week preggo shots should be coming soon! (Also, more recent photos can be found here.)


  1. This post was so funny that I've been giggling all morning. Who knew tampons could make such great toys? He sure is talking up a storm and is as cute as pie. I too have a wonderful relationship with my mother and cherish it, so I understand where you are coming from. You never know what the future may hold, and there will be little girls in our family to love!

  2. Yikes cheese grater on the face! Cute stuff. I can't wait to take him to the park for Funtastic Friday! I'm playing a special show after Thanksgiving, and I can't wait to get his face painted.

  3. I have say that Seth communicates with Anne quite regularly and consistently (although probably a little spotty this year bc he's been so sick). So there's still hope that your relationship and bonds with your boys will continue to blossom well after the 'mommy obsession' phase! :)

  4. Oh my gosh! Miles is morphing into a toddler before our eyes! I like the previously obsessively neat utensil drawer he is now able to ransack. Hmmm. Aside from already having ordered a pay for view movie, it appears that the boy will be techno-savvy and phone-able in no time. Imagine when he discovers English!
    I love his sense of delight when he walks and knows that he is thrilling Mom and Dad. There is nothing like the pure emotions of small children.

  5. I remember those jelly bracelets! As a "boy only" mom, I really appreciated having a wonderful niece like you to enjoy!

    PS - Miles is too cute for words!

  6. You are definitely going to be able to blackmail Miles into spending time with you as a teenager by threatening to share pictures of him playing with tampons! Hilarious. As for only having boys, remember that they will most likely eventually have girlfriends and wives. Many years off, but it's a thought.