Thursday, December 31, 2009

Grandma and Opa

From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
As I mentioned the paternal grandparental units drove all of the way down from OH (along with Eric's sister and brother-in-law for a few days) to spend the holidays with us. Somehow, we ended up with a solar tube installed in our kitchen, a new light in our shower, a freshly painted master bathroom, new vanity, and wire netting in part of our attic. I promise we don't intentionally promote slave labor with our family...

We also discovered that due to the lead glazing in our ugly bathroom tiles, we are extremely limited in doing anything with them. So, after hours of research on the Internet, I decided we would go ghetto and buy $2 rolls of white contact paper--spend countless hours cutting 4 3/8 squares, and apply to our yellow tiles. Hey, I only have 1 more week of bed rest. Might as well do something mindless! So far, it doesn't look half bad!

One of Opa's skills outside of slave labor, is photography. He spent some time one day taking some cute pictures of Miles that of course I had to share.

We miss Grandma and Opa!

Oh, and there will be more posts of even more surprises of the week--no, no baby. I am pretty convinced Kilo is really staying put now. See you in February little boy. God help my pelvis.

From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09
From Opa's Christmas Pictures 09

full album here.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Miracles

Christmas could have "felt" like this:

From December 2009

But we had our own Christmas miracle on Vanet Road...(PS--Miles was not the only one at school who HATED Santa...but I am not sure anyone else got a picture this heart wrenching. Thanks, Dad. Nothing like not seeing your son for 2 days, and the only documentation you bring to me is this picture. Good thing he followed it up later with an amazingly cute video of Miles singing his heart out to Jingle Bells...)

After 8 days in room B7, multiple rounds of nurses, terbutaline shots, IVs fluid and antibiotics, and mountains of procardia/colace...I was released! Why? As the Dr noted--there was nothing left they could do for me. I refused to go down the magnesium sulfate route (and the OB actually agreed it wasn't in my best interest), am on the absolute highest dose of medication they can give me, and have no other tricks to employ if I go into active labor. So, I could rot in the bed of room B7, or stay on strict bed rest at home. Granted, I wasn't getting the constant fetal heart rate and contraction monitoring, but Kilo looked "textbook perfect" every time he was monitored, and I could certainly "track" my contractions on my own. (If one more nurse, OB, perinatologist said to me, "can you FEEL these contractions?" or "You contract all of the time." I was going to lose it--as much as you can strapped to a bed) Luckily, I had scores of visitors (some of whom totally decked out my room in X-mas gear) towards the end, and upon my discharge, can say I truly miss some of the nurses with whom I became close. I assessed each one for my L&D "dream team," and have a good 15 or so I will feel comfortable with. First, they had to have a good sense of humor. Second, they had to have delivered a baby--or been close (they need to be good under pressure). I also got to meet pretty much all of the on call OBs who rounded while my primary was on vacation. They are all AWESOME! I just feel so good about everything.

Christmas at home was, well, not Christmas in the hospital. Doesn't that sort of say it all? We were surprised with Eric's parents AND Eric's sister and her husband's presence for the holidays! It was certainly not the most traditional X-mas, and didn't really "feel" like holidays of the past, but just being home made a world of difference. And the company was amazing. I so wish family lived closer. Eric made 2 amazing meals (seriously--amazing) and Miles got spoiled rotten from everyone. We roused ourselves for games of Scrabble Slam, Scrabble and Scattegories (what is a portapus, anyway...and I still don't think "dust" is an acceptable answer for "things found in a coffee shop."), and now we are all enjoying the continual waiting game of Kilo's arrival. My sense is that everyone will leave, and Kilo will feel like it is time to be born. As much as I would hate for everyone down here to miss the birth, I am conflicted because every day he cooks, is a few fewer days in the NICU.

Things have been so full of optimism with good news after good news that I haven't had time to craft a cogent thought for this post, hence the disconnected thoughts and musings of today. I try NOT to stay on the Internet for too long because I am trying to enjoy the company and the last days I have with Miles as an only child.

Speaking of Miles--he is a champ. He is soldiering through all of this so well. I wish I had more photos and videos of him b/c the past 2 weeks he has just exploded in happiness, dance and hilarity. He crashes into the room every day to shower me in kisses and belly flops, and it is so wonderful. He was slightly scared of me at the hospital, but a few spins on the nurses stool and games of peek-a-boo with my privacy curtain, and he was okay.

From December 2009
From December 2009
From December 2009

Speaking of being a champ. Um, my mom should be up for sainthood...or at least Times most influential person of the year (screw Tiger and Bernanke). She flew back down to Atlanta 1 day after leaving once she heard I was admitted, and has woven her way into our lives. She cooks, cleans, cares for Miles, waits on me so that I don't have to threaten my bed rest (and cervix), and even spent her FIRST birthday away from my brothers, and her first Christmas away from her Husband since they were married. Yup. Her birthday was on December 23rd, so we HAD to "do it up." And by "do it up," I mean eat take-out Indian on my bed and indulge in Publix chocolate cake and Moroccan Mint tea while knitting. Not sure she ever imagined such an evening...
From December 2009
From December 2009

Eric has spent most of his time entertaining and running the house, so we have little documentation of the past few weeks, so below are a few random shots. (Click on December 2009 under the photos to link to the full gallery.) Luckily, Miles's newest obsession is throwing everything in the recycle bin, so we put him to good use. And he is also at that stage where you can ask him to do anything and he'll oblige (Miles, give those coupons to Nana...Miles, throw that away...Miles, go brush your teeth...Miles, dance like a little trained monkey...)

Thank you EVERYONE for your thoughts, prayers, meals, errands, gifts, etc. We are blessed! Once things sort of stabilize, or I am hooked up to a breast pump and have a sleeping infant on me all day, I will get to really sit down and thank each and every one of you. Until then, apologies for my sporadic phone and e-mail presence. Sometimes, a mom just needs to get totally absorbed in her family she missed/misses so much. :)

Christmas morning. Miles taking out some pacifiers someone gave us for the new baby. Already a doting big brother (as if he has ANY idea his mom is with child and that his life is going to change soon):
From December 2009

Miles's kisses...I am not lying when I tell you I get them all day...and huge cuddles. Ugh, I love him so...
From December 2009

What is just as good as Christmas presents? The tote to hold my presents in!
From December 2009

I love my new kitchen! (And have already hidden things like the fan remote in the oven, causing mass chaos in the house for 30 minutes...)
From December 2009

Miles and Opa
From December 2009

And yes--it was not "sew" easy, but I finished all 3 stockings! I still need to knit Kilo's, but not too shabby. Why did I pick a pattern that required each side to be composed of FIVE separate pieces?
From December 2009
From December 2009

Holy nearly 35 week belly. I'm huge. And I feel every single inch of this 5lb + kid. (Oh yes--he is measuring over 5lbs 3oz!)
From December 2009
From December 2009
From December 2009
From December 2009

Crazy realization of the day--I have never been pregnant this long before. My uterus isn't so bad! Just cantankerous.

3cm dilated, 80% effaced, and I lost the mucus plug. Crazy. Dr Moore told me today he didn't think I would get this far...and Eric admitted the same thing to me on the way home. Truthfully, neither did I.

Miracles do happen.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"Make new friends..."

This is the turbo status because I am currently off the monitors and IVs after a SHOWER. Oh yes, I'll get to the hygienic X-mas miracle in a second.

Here's my day yesterday (totally abbreviated)

-Random perinatologist from my group enters my room with a gaggle of women of unknown origin (i.e. I have no idea if they were his nurses, techs, or mistresses)

-Pleasantries are not exchanged as I quickly find myself spread eagle as he dons on gloves and asks to check my cervix manually (note: they DO NOT do this during pregnancy...and when they do as you get to the end of your prenatal ride, it hurts like hell. I won't lie. And by "asks" to check my cervix, our interaction was more, "Hi, I am Dr T. I am going to check your cervix.)

-DAMN! I am wearing boy shorts. Here I go again pulling them off under the covers and making a joke that received little response. I guess perinatologists don't have senses of humor.

-2-3cm and 60% effaced

-Peri recommends taking me off all meds as I am in labor, and that we are going to have a baby in like a minute. Okay, not a minute, but soon enough that Eric makes calls to half of the country saying we have 72 hours. Shoot--we really aren't settled on a middle name!

-Will check cervix again in 2 hours and assess.

-OB walks in with angels singing around him (or perhaps it is my delusional mind after rotting in a bed for a week...or the echo of my thoughts vibrating off of the dirt in my ears that I feel like has accumulated over the 2 days I haven't showered).

-Cervix still 2-3 cm and 60%. OB says, "you are not in labor." Proceed with caution, keep the meds going, and stay in the bed. As he leaves, I say, "have a great vacation! We'll have to do this again at 40 weeks." He quickly responds, "I would say closer to 35." Gotta love a realist.

So, I am not being transported to the high risk floor, but am staying on high risk labor. I cal lit maternity perguatory. What does that mean? I am too "acute" to be moved to a more stable long-term unit, but I am not in active labor and cannot take up a true labor room unless my delivery is imminent. It also means I have no therapy dogs, knitting budies, or fun activities planned for me. But I keep my corner office with 2 windows and can spread my stuff all over. I won't leave until I deliver, or am sent home post-term--at which time I will just deliver the baby myself since I won't want to ever come back to a hospital.

What's the key to my sanity (if I have any)? Making friends with the nurses. It isn't just nice, it is a necessity. I joke, I ask personal questions (is that against hospital policy? Do I need to get orders for that, too?), and honestly take a sincere interest in those that are giving me my medications and changing my IV site every few days. Plus, they tend to respond positively and hang out in my room to talk about the redonkulous news, or other rubbish on TV. And you hear them ask for you as a patient over time. I even got the "you are my favorite patient" line last night...guess the no shower things isn't working against me too much!

And then, you hit the nurse jackpot and she secretely takes you off of the monitors, IV, and antibiotics so you can BATHE YOURSELF. Okay, so this might be for her benefit, too...but I don't care. I told her I wouldn't sue if I delivered in the shower. The sad thing is that I cannot reach my legs to landscape them (you know I'll be worrying about the state of things when I find myself in those stirrups sometime soon), and had a biohazard bag strapped to my IV site, so only had 1 hand to clean anyway. But oh lord, did I feel clean.

And then you put the hospital gown on again and feel like a fly or gnat immediataly emerges from some crevice in your body because there is a strange phenomena with hospital gowns. They make you immediately dirty.

33 weeks and 4 days. Feeling pretty good folks!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Hopsital update and Miles in silhouette!

Greetings from B-7 at Northside hospital. I don't have continuous access to the Internet due to:

-bathroom breaks every 20 minutes
-visits with the perinatologist
-painful contractions
-full body assessments by every nurse employed by this hospital
-shots of terbutaline
-dissecting the hospital's vegetarian fare (much better than standard!)
-attempting to get naps in with two abdominal monitors, an IV, a blood pressure monitor and an inevitable warning beep of one of the damn machines
-getting meds every few hours
-cat naps
-showering--oh wait--haven't done that in three days. Request is in with my doctor and peri--isn't that sad when the state of things is that you need clearance from your OB and peri to wash yourself?

BUT, I try to sneak open my computer to check e-mail, facebook and some trashy celebrity site like Perez Hilton because television is just about sending me into convulsions with the Tiger Woods scandal. At least Perez has some diversity. (Did I really just say that?)

I am more than happy to receive calls, but don't have great access to my phone (see list above) and to be honest, have moments where it needs to be just me and my cervix--in deep conversation, working to an agreeable middle ground in this whole precipitous labor.

I got some discouraging test results from the perinatologist yesterday, but the dream is still alive--getting to 35 weeks. Nana is flying back down to help out--God bless her. Funny how with my last pregnancy, the week after she left from a baby shower, I delivered Miles. The pattern is clear--send your mother home, and the baby will come.

I just want to say how happy I am to have my mom down here, but my heart hurts a little knowing she is going to be away from my father and my brothers for Christmas AND her birthday. Thankfully, I was able to get my mother's b-day present to her before she flew back down here. A friend of mine makes AMAZING custom sillouettes with paper (and then can inscribe them in beautiful calligraphy), and I knew it would be the perfect gift for my mom. I am actually kind of jealous and may just have to get one of Miles and Kilo myself sometime! I highly recommend employing Pam for this one of a kind gift. Visit her etsy shop here, or e-mail her at Isn't it insane how much it looks like Miles? It was a little difficult getting him to sit still so I could take his profile picture to send to her, but the results speak for themselves!

Off to supplement my lunch with Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Peppermint cookies--oh yes. The BF Mama D dropped them off the other day. It's the little the insane amount of support I have received from Facebook friends, from family, from prayer chains, from people at work, from my due date club, from Eric's school, Eric's adult running group (I even found out one of them has a dog who participates in the "happy tails" program where if I make it to Friday, I can get a visit from a therapy pooch!)'s just overwhelming. Miles's childcare director (aka surrogate g-ma) and co-worker (I'll call her Marcia Cross, b/c she looks like her) came over last night and sat with me after I got the disappointing news and cheered me up! They also gifted me with some lovely lotion encrusted socks (how does that work) with grippers on the bottom so I can wear them at the hospital, and some amazing lotion. It's the little things. One of Eric's students even prayed for me, unprompted, at school yesterday (they pray quickly before every class). I mean, golly...

Here's to adventures in spending as many holidays as I can at the hospital. Maybe we can decorate the IV pole with lights and bring some presents to the floor on Christmas...

33 weeks and 1 day today. It will be a miracle to get to 34, so right now I am just aiming to take it day by day. I am pretty sure we are set on a middle name, and am finally getting excited to share this little boy with the world--just not quite yet. I think only one person, Aunt T, has guessed the first name (although, it was in a LONG list of names she predicted). The childcare is convinced it is Fritz, and Uncle Frank thinks it is Pankratz (ha ha!). It's not either...

I finally broke down yesterday after I got the unfavorable test results AND had the NICU nurse come and do a consult with me. It just brought back a ton of memories--the NICU is just not a place I want to inhabit again. Here's a classic snipit of the convo yesterday:

NICU nurse: "do you know what you are having?"
Ali: "A boy"
NICU nurse: "well, the truth is that little boys, especially white boys, don't fare as well as, say, little black girls. We call them wimpy white boys."
Ali: "If I do have a little black girl, we have bigger problems than I thought."

Maybe I AM Tiger's 25th mistress...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Baby Yogi

I am feeling a tad guilty about insulting my blog readers with the grainy video of my belly I thought a picture of Miles in a diaper and house shoes and Eric in his underwear would certainly soften the blow.

And to think I was worried about figuring out how to get in workouts once the new baby arrives and I am released from bed rest. I have a home grown 23lb gym AND yoga instructor!

Please know that we all do wear full sets of clothing on most days. But I live with all men now--you know how it goes.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Do the Belly Button...

(If you haven't heard Ralph Covert's song of Belly Button, I highly recommend downloading his kids' album Happy Lemons. Listen to samples here.)

This video doesn't capture the magnitude of the button protrusion. Flip camera finally let me down.

Having a cold does not bode well for the belly button. Every time I cough, it pops back out. OUCH.

Bed rest makes you do crazy things like video tape your belly button.

This may be as disgusting as talking about my cervix.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Though Shall Not Covet

12/08/09: I started writing this post weeks ago when I was still able to leave the house--and then all of those hospital visits started happening. I figured I would finally come back and finish the post...

Scene: Ali standing at the Walgreens Pharmacy, essentially eating the Ralph Lauren Romance perfume of the woman sitting behind her. Said woman's husband, a nondescript man in his late 30s, is sitting next to her in the only 2 chairs in the waiting area.

Ali's internal conversation: "Hello! Pregnant woman here who is on modified bed rest waiting for her prescription would really love a seat. It's the least you could do for poisoning me with your overwhelming perfume."

(Was that too harsh?? I normally don't adopt the role of charity case while pregnant, but today I felt on overwhelming sense of entitlement to the Walgreens chair.)

Ali maintains her composure, looks for some sort of assistive device by the couple to convince her that they needed the seats more than she, and tries to breathe in air of compassion and tolerance...but there is that damn Romance perfume. She finally settles on convincing herself that they probably don't see the almost 30 week lump under her shirt.

Romance lady: "What are you getting your new baby for Christmas?"

Ali: (perplexed that Romance lady not only acknowledges the lump, but also continues with making 2 huge assumptions: I celebrate Christmas, and that I am getting Kilo gifts for Christmas). "Oh, me?? Umm...we really haven't thought about it. Just focused on getting through the next holiday."

Ali's internal conversation: "I was actually thinking of getting a comfy chair, just like the ones you are stealing from a pregnant woman, so I could sit and rest my taxed body. You gonna to ask for more perfume?"

(Now I KNOW that was cheeky, but pure venom seemed to be in my veins that day.)

Okay, so her assumption was right--we do celebrate Christmas, and we are getting Kilo a gift: a prime piece of luxurious real estate in my uterus.

The truth is, I just don't feel compelled to get gifts for the baby. And honestly, last year when Miles was 7 months old, I didn't feel an urge to get him lots of gifts, either. First, Christmas is truly about family for me, which makes this year a little hard in that we will not be surrounded by any extended family or friends. (BUT, we will have the opportunity to start our own family Christmas traditions with the 3.5 of us). Second, even now at 18 months, I feel like Miles doesn't appreciate "stuff" as much as commercial America would like us to think. There is no question that this year he will certainly be excited about getting toys, but he still has no expectation or sense of entitlement--let's hope we can avoid that for as long as possible. What do I really want? A healthy family. Sleep. Okay, and maybe a lifetime supply of dark chocolate wouldn't be bad, either.

And yet, I have found myself coveting lots of "things" over the past couple of weeks--in part due to my Google Reader peppering me with blog posts on the best new eco-friendly holiday gifts. And with the addition of secret coupon codes and promotional offers, I have gotten myself into trouble. I do try to rationalize things by saying, "all of our stuff will play double duty for both Miles and Kilo." My objective is to find balance between getting stuff just to get stuff, and getting toys with value and longevity.

I actually bought Miles a gift already--a big gift.

The educo French Kitchen.

Oompa shouldn't allow promotional codes giving money off, or I will be compelled to order more and more from them! This kitchen set is eco-friendly, comes with the accoutrements shown above, and when I bought it was under $90 (and I got a discount AND applied coupon codes), and will fit perfectly in our kitchen. This could be a long buying season...

Okay, back to 12/08/09

The transition to full bed rest just made my consumerist behavior more amplified, I am afraid. I humbly admit to being a walking contradiction (or a lounging contradiction). People, and having a prime membership is the devil. Good thing Miles cannot read the blog, or all of his presents would be ruined! I don't think we have ever purchased this much stuff for Miles at one time before--even before he was born. Part of me is riddled with guilt, but another part of me feels good about our choices.

Knuffle Bunny Too We LOVE the original Knuffle Bunny book (especially the part about Trixie going "boneless" as she throws a tantrum). Someone on my message board told me there was a sequel, and I jumped on it.

Boon Frog Pod We have wanted to get this for a long time, and finally decided to splurge. Luckily, when we got it, Amazon had it on super clearance (always on the quest to hit up Amazon when an item is on super clearance...that is one thing I have realized, things are always reduced prices, but there will be these pockets of time where items are 50-70% off just for a few days). Miles loves organizing things now, and delights in us giving him tasks like "throw that away...put it in the drawer...close the lid." They tell me that such cooperation slowly changes into defiance. I choose not to believe that right now. I also hear that teenage boys sleep past 9am, but I don't believe that, either.

Sprig Toys Eco Recycling Truck LOVE LOVE sprig toys. We have a few of their other trucks that we got for Miles's 1st birthday, and he loves them. They are made from eco-friendly composite of reclaimed wood and recycled plastic (they even smell like wood), and are incredibly light, so little bodies can fling them around. I just got notice about the new eco recycling truck model and pounced on it (only $10 on clearance) I realize more and more that I am buying "gendered" toys, but I wouldn't hesitate getting any of these trucks for a little girl.

Manhattan Toy Automoblox Mini's 3-Pack We were able to get these when they were on deeper discount, too. I read an interesting article about the company and the toy and thought they would be a fun toy--even if we don't open it for a few months. That's the beauty of Miles's age--we can put toys away for a later date and he will have NO idea! Miles really does love "driving" around any kind of train, car...he even pretends pens are vehicles and "drives" them on my arm. You gotta encourage the imagination, no? Eric loved the styling of these guys, too.

Eric has been dying to get Miles a bike like this since he was born...and so here is the BIG gift #2. Mom got the kitchen, Dad got the bike.

Prince Lionheart Balance Bike Of all of the balance bikes (i.e. those with no pedals), this one was the cheapest, and actually got some pretty good reviews. I imagine we won't play with it a lot until the spring, and by that time, Miles will be more stable on his feet. With this, and then i-Bert bike seat that Eric totes Miles around it, we are set!

Eric's "Amazon" is Ikea. What I mean by that is he cannot go to the store without buying something. It used to be plant pots and picture frames. Now, it is fun things for Miles (and plant pots...). He came home with a little, inexpensive train set, and we are still waiting for their stock of
POÄNG children's arm chair to be replenished

I'll have to give the full report on how Miles responds to the gifts.

In the spirit of recycling (and a lame attempt at making me feel better for buying so many gifts), I had Eric dig up the huge bag full of yarn I got from his mother (after his grandmother passed, they found a HUGE lot of pastel yarn) and started knitting Christmas stockings. My hiatus from knitting is apparent by the first side of stocking #1, but I am convinced in years to come, I'll pull them out of our storage and the wonderful memories of Christmas 2009 will flood back...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Pop goes 32 weeks

From 32 weeks
From 32 weeks
Ladies and gents--we are finally at that phase: my face is swelling and my boobs have hit my belly (which also means the view of the southern hemisphere is getting obstructed). Why do I always have Eric take the pictures of me at night when I am most swollen and exhausted? Pregnancy glow has dissipated and I am left with underwear that doesn't contain both cheeks and lungs that cannot inflate...BUT I LOVE IT! Why? Because I am still pregnant.

You would think this whole bed rest thing would have me sitting down, writing novels and watching my fill of Ellen on TV. In fact, I feel a lot more busy now than I did before. I cannot explain it. I think part of it is that if the room I am living in is not set up with all of my amenities, I cannot just get up and make a dozen trips to get what I need. Hence, I'll leave my phone in the other room and not retrieve it for hours, missing lots of texts and messages.

And then there is that full time job I am somehow managing to keep. Bed rest makes Internet shopping incredibly easy, but I also have 24 hours access to my work, which compels me to put in far more than 40 hours.

I just keep the very most, I only have about 8 weeks left. Zoinks!

This past week I vacationed yet again at the hospital. This time, it was planned. I was admitted to get 2 steroid shots to develop the babies lungs in case I deliver early. I ended up being there for a couple of days and realized that hospital bed rest is FAR worse than home bed rest. I also realized that the nurse blowing a vein in your hand hurts far more than the butt shots--and that my dreams of a full night of sleep were interrupted every 3 hours by either the nurse, my bladder, contractions, or the damn toco and fetal heart rate monitor jabbing into my belly.

Note to self: when in the hospital, identify as a vegetarian. Just trust me.

Note to self part 2: when in the hospital, just keep your underwear off. It is far less embarrassing to just pull down the covers and lift the gown for the OB to do your internal fetal fibronectin test than for him to have you pull down the covers, you both acknowledge you have underwear on, he pulls back the covers and waits for you to take down your underwear, so you rip them off in an awkward maneuver and use your toes to shove them to the end of the bed before he pulls down the covers yet again...

I got to see the perinatologist (glad I kept the underwear off for ease of scanning, but not so happy I was sitting in an oversized wheelchair in the hallway of the peri office that is located on the first floor of the hospital--merely covered in a gown for 45 minutes waiting for a room!) and had another full baby anatomy scan. Kilo is about 3 lbs 13oz! Yowza! He is doing GREAT--it's just the real estate he bought seems to be foreclosing. The cervix is delightfully disobedient, but nothing to the point of no return. I go back to the Dr on Monday and we just take this journey week by week.

Until then--can someone please stop me from snacking my way through these last weeks? I cannot eat in large quantities because, well, I have a uterus obstructing my entire middle section (don't get me started on the shortness of breath while lying down), but feel like I have a constant stream of food entering my mouth. And Eric's school has actually set up a schedule and we are receiving 3 meals a week (holy generosity), and everyone has been great about providing us with true comfort food. 8 weeks of pasta, ice cream, cookies and cheese won't kill me, right?

And because I have recently been feeling a sense of sadness about having to share Miles time between 2 children (it's hard to explain...), here is a picture from snack time. He just melts my heart.

From 32 weeks