Folks, this isn't the movies, but I would love to hear the back story to what prompted the popcorn warning; does anyone else find this funny?
I guess that is the general theme of the day of Eric's surgery, "does anyone else find this funny?"
Our day started with Miles's own personal cheerleading session that disguised itself as blood curdling crying a few times in the middle of the night. What a thoughtful child. I didn't get to ask my husband to whisper sweet nothings into my ear all night so I could remember the way he talked. Instead, I was hooked up to 9 week old as my husband chair surfed in Miles's room. The humor in this situation is that...wait, there is no humor in our house between the hours of 7pm and 5am.
We planned to head to Emory for our 5:30am same day surgery call, but were a little late in getting out of the door as Eric lost his glasses. He has never lost his glasses before. Of all days, really? The humor is more situational here--not "ha ha" funny. Right before we left, I whipped out my pricey strand of pearls Eric gave me for one of our Christmases (since his diagnosis, I had already been wearing the matching pearls he got me for our anniversary years back) and slipped on his wedding ring. No metal during surgery. And no Lance Armstrong wristlet. Nothing says cancer like pearls, no? I also put on my TEAM HEINTZ Northface top and Felix wore his (Miles's old) organic TEAM HEINTZ onesie. I didn't have time get something screen printed for Miles. I will have to do that soon. He is an integral part of our team! I was hoping my request for a TEAM HEINTZ hospital gown would come through. I'm sure if Oprah had tongue cancer, she would get a personalized gown.
We got to pre-op and were surprised at how many people were there waiting. After reading Anderson Cooper's bio on Wikipedia on Eric's new phone, we were called back by our pre-op nurse. We actually were collected as a group of 5 patients and support persons. As such, we got placed next to a woman who was having surgery that I don't think she wanted anyone else to hear about. But we did. We laughed that you sign all this HIPPA privacy paperwork, and yet there is this tiny cloth curtain separating us from the woman getting infected mesh removed from her...let's just stop right there.
Quickly we brainstormed the various ways pre-op could be improved and made a pitch to our pre-op nurse. I think she was almost convinced. We will be submitting to Emory Hosptial shortly:
- Normal saline IV should be buttermilk pancake flavor
- Installation of dentist office posters on the ceiling. (I remember the ones at my hygentist's office; it was the history of dentistry in cartoons. That, and I believe when I was really little they also had a poster of a fluffy kitten pouncing on a yellow flower--clearly a "throw down" (as Bob Deysher refers to freebies) from a Scholastic book drive after you have purchased $15 in books and a Highlights magazine subscription.)
- Manis and pedis should be offered to all patients, and their 1 support person
- The blue berets for the hair should have sizes
- Option to have a foam roller for under the knee, or ability to put in a request that during surgery the circulating nurse would use "the stick" on the patients leg muscles
- A running TV loop of Save By The Bell (SBTB) episodes--specifically the Zack Attack broken leg episode. Eric and I commented how Zack's hospital stay was a far cry from ours.
Eric and I had discussed the possibility of Skyping during surgery. So I took it upon myself to pose the question to Dr W.
Ali: "Do you have skype in the OR? Like, could you put a camera on your head so I can watch the whole thing?"
Dr W.: (silence)