Thursday, May 13, 2010

"Insert Comment HERE, please..." two versions

Abridged version:

Thank you all for your wonderful comments on my blog. I really love reading them.

Epic version:

(And I will intersperse the newest pictures of Felix and Miles to keep your attention. "Look Ma! They aren't wearing the same clothes!" Yup, I took pictures more than just one day this month.)
From Early May 2010
From Early May 2010

Back in 2007 I started this blog as a private space for my brain dump as I grappled with what ended up being a terribly difficult 20 weeks of pregnancy with Miles. And then it sort of morphed into this expose on all things pregnancy, all things preemie and all things a lot of Mothers have too much class are too afraid to talk about in a public forum...and now I have no idea how to categorize it. But how public is it? I added the Feedjit box on my blog a long time ago to get a sense of where any traffic was coming from outside of my and my Mother's homes. The problem is that I never go to my actual bog; I reside in the Edit Post section of blogger, or read my newly posted blog in my Google Reader. So I really have no sense of the lack of volume of readership. (Can you tell I am obsessed with the strike through today?)

But does it matter? Truly, this blog is selfish; it serves as a platform for me to complain, celebrate, worry, etc. And I just have an open invitation to the world to be witness. I'd still keep posting even if it were just me and my Mother reading. Because let me tell you--Eric doesn't read this unless prompted. He doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny, Hannukah Harry, or Google Reader. So unless he is as dedicated to daily visits to my site like he does with Flotrak, LetsRun, and GHSA Track and Field, it's another responsibility in my job description as Family CEO to inform him.  Unfortunately, wiping boogies and bottoms comes first, and at the end of the day, I feel it's a stretch asking him to get me water for the bed side because we are both so exhausted.

I am aware that many people were directed this way when Eric was diagnosed with cancer as it was my way of providing updates on his progress and treatment. The caveat is/was that visitors probably didn't realize I'd be sprinkling in posts about my breast milk supply, toddler poop, giving birth, and so on. I cannot edit myself, folks. Although, I do make a conscious effort not to discuss politics, religion, or my professional life Wait--you work another full time job? Yup. Full time cancer warrior, full time mother, and I also hold a lovely 8am-4pm job in hematology/oncology education. So, I imagine I had droves of people looking for information on Eric's cancer journey, and now they may be dropping like Ali's hair as they realize how raw I can be.

Sometimes I am shocked when someone says, "I read about xxx on your blog..." And I think--you DID? You mean, you've heard about it? And sometimes I say that even to close friends. It's because a blog is generally one way communication. Me, telling ridiculously uncensored stories, to you...the elusive reader. Although, there is that little section at the bottom for comments. The nice thing is that they get sent right to your e-mail, so I never even have to go back to the blog like a desperate little puppy seeing if anyone responded.

I can always count on Mana (my mother) for a comment per post. But there are die hard Ditto readers who can make an already emotive day with my pouring out my soul even better when I get her comment. I say "her" because I am pretty confident my readership tips the scales at about 90/10 female to male. The problem is that I cannot ever respond back and say "Right on!" "Thanks!" "You, too?" "Good suggestion." "How funny!!" Sometimes I'll personally e-mail someone to continue the conversation, but generally I just read the comment in my e-mail, smile/laugh or even cry...and then tend to whatever job responsibility is turning me completely grey at the moment.

I wanted to take the opportunity in this post to send out a HUGE impersonal (cuz that's how this blog business rolls, unfortunately) THANK YOU for those who read and also for those who comment. I debated on posting this because I didn't want it to come across as the "I really don't want comments" with glaring undertones of "pretty please spend all your days commenting on my blog," but also didn't want people to think I didn't care about your responses to my posts. Let me take a moment to acknowledge that some of what I write might make you uncomfortable, and you would never want to acknowledge in a public space that you have exposure. Again, I am pretty uncensored, and clearly don't even hit the spell check bocks (ha ha)...

It is true that first and foremost I write as therapy, but readership is an extra bonus. It's not like I am a Mommy Blogger in the way that OED will soon be defining it. Oh, don't even question whether or not Mommy Blogging isn't that serious. First, Heather Armstrong of Dooce took over the Mommy Blog as cash cow a few years back, so there goes any aspirations of me cutting out one of those full time jobs (and let's just say it wouldn't be cancer warrior or Family CEO). And I don't have amazing giveaways to lure in readers and followers. Although, I've never declined the non-existent offers. Dyson--I'm anxiously awaiting your call to product test a $400 vacuum and will be more than happy to give one away! And my blog design, although cute, isn't anything to write home (or The Today Show) about. So I know that my expectations for interest resides in others' delight in my musings, pure and simple. Or at least the opportunity to ogle over who I think are 2 redonkulously adorable boys and gag over my excessive use of made up words. Hey, I couldn't leave you without one more strike through!
From Early May 2010
From Early May 2010
From Early May 2010
From Early May 2010
From Early May 2010

And I'm calling some of you out. Okay--don't take this like elementary school dodge ball and get in a tizzy if I don't mention you. But I did just want to say how much I treasure some of the comments from people like my Mana/mother, the two amazing cancer warriors Karen and Sara, NICU warrior S.M., and besties Schlotty, CD, Bec, and Studs, amazing mother of a huge pod of her own R.H., and my girl Tamara from Bra-sil, SIL Trixie, Jenni, and triple the fun Pyjammy...and so on. And another special call out to Aunt Elaine up in Ohio, who I hear is a die hard Team Heintz follower.

Me, "Jimmy Neutron, " "Safari Miles," and Da-Dee all continue to invite you along our ride. (Yes, that IS how Felix woke up with his hair one day.) It's free. It'll be fun. Absolutely no comments required. But I cannot promise you won't need a barf bag.
From Early May 2010
From Early May 2010

Full album of pictures here.

12 comments:

  1. Woot woot! Thanks for the shout-out! Hee hee!

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  2. I'd be lying if I said I didn't check your blog for updates at least once or twice a day. You are such a great writer, and being able to watch the boys grow from afar via pictures is such a treat. It makes me feel more connected. Love you!!!

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  3. Well, I love preemies, and baby pictures -- and you have both!
    And you have a great attitude/perspective on things, which makes you fun to read.
    Don't stop! :)
    --Tamara

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  4. Of course I am biased, but I love reading your blog (like Trixie3000 I check daily) and admire your gift of turning stressful life events into humorous and insightful musings. What a talent!
    The photos, as I've said before, are like manna to a starving Mana!

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  5. Oh goodness. Jimmie Neutron has some pretty wild hair! I still think there is some redness lurking in those locks.
    Miles in Eric's Columbia hat is priceless, too. It's even cuter knowing that kids that age don't know they are cute....they just are!

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  6. guilty blog stalker here too! i love it, ali... you make me laugh, cry and sometimes squirm all at the same time... that's why i come back for more! :) keep it up, sister... and yes, the pics are an added bonus fo sho!
    besides, our new love for nick makes me feel even more connected... no, seriously, i really did find my self saying (out loud), "let's hear that song again." my ipod will never be the same after having a toddler! :)

    see you sunday :)

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  7. Despite all the craziness down here, I still make sure to check out your blog regularly - that must mean it's awesome :)

    Just saying that it isn't like I make time to read style lush... although I might take a quick time out to do so right now!

    Keep up the good work and I'll try to stay relevant in the comments (note I said TRY).

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  8. wootwoot! I love reading! And, I LOVE the pictures of your boys. Obvi I'm totally behind on my friends' blogs right when they're giving shout outs for staying on top of reading!

    LOVE YOU!

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  9. Oh yeah, and I, too check to see if you've updated your bog like, thrice, daily... I got SO embarrassed and ashamed when I noticed that you can see who visits your blog and when... can you tell I'm obsessed with your family???!

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  10. Howdee do! Glad to be mentioned and not in the strike out list! The hair thing is a theme this past month between your travails and the boys' mohawkishness. What gene contributes to "the look" these boys have? Punkster gene 458A?

    Will be back to you later this week with details of what is now MY health worry results. Went in for a routine blood test for my thyroid medicine and 2 hours, 6 ultrasounds and 4 biopsies later, we now wait to see if I have a thyroid issue such as the big C. Geez!

    Keep posting, we'll keep reading!
    hugs

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  11. wow I can't believe Felix's hair is naturally like that! Miles is too funny for taking kitchen supplies!

    You're amazing!! Keep truckin' Coach Ali!

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  12. I too wish I could respond to comments on blogs, wouldn't that just make it so much better?

    Being able to share life's tough lessons with someone has been therapeutic for me...I hope some of my "wisdom" has been helpful, but, as you said in your post, it has been cathartic to get it all out there.

    Keep up the great writing - I love reading your posts and seeing how your boys change from moment to moment (so sad that they have to grow up, huh?).

    Best!
    Sara

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