Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Maneuvers: A movement or series of moves requiring skill and care

That's sort of been the theme the past few days. Mad skills in this house, if I may say so:

In an effort to have Miles ingest something green before he turns 25, I've spent lots of time sneaking vegetables in his food. Yes, I have Jessica Seinfeld's Deceptively Delicious cookbook, and am a slave to the Weelicious website. Yes, we call broccoli "trees" and make "oohs" and "ahhs" as we eat veggies, and even compliment Felix as he eats his in hopes of some peer pressure. And we always give him a serving. I'm pretty good with shaving zuccini and putting it in bread as well as pasta sauce. But right now, that's the extent. The other night, I threw some organic sweet peas in homemade mac n cheese, and hoped for the best. Miles took a huge bite, and then next thing I know, he had extracted the individual peas and spit them out on his plate. I had to give the kid credit. And then was tempted to find a cherry stem for him to knot in his mouth.

Felix is consistently standing up in his crib. Sometimes, multiple times a night. I can tell the difference between a lying down cry, and a standing up cry, now. He's talented, but I'm exhausted. Felix is also standing up on anything that will (temporarily) support his weight. This includes his car seat. Have you ever tried manually "sitting" down a baby who doesn't want to sit? Impossible. There are some seriously strong muscles beneath his leg chub. I thought the few months of him hating his car seat as an infant was bad; but now he has started hating it again and not only "tells" us about it, but stiffens his body in such a way that it takes 5 minutes to get him in a sitting position. And another 5 minutes to get the straps buckled. And another 5 minutes to make sure Miles isn't in the front seat trying to drive my car.

As I have mentioned before, Felix can take out all of our outlet protectors. I need an outlet protector protector. That, or we need to consider going Amish and just swear off electricity and dry wall over all of the outlets. I'm getting desperate. 

I almost learned the Heimlich maneuver tonight. Felix more than gagged on a piece of pear tonight, foamed at the mouth, and Eric an I started panicking. He was gagging, burping, gulping, choking...it was awful. It was like 3 minutes of sheer terror. Miles just watched, and then after kept saying something about Bebix and his mouth. I think we were all a little shaken. 

The boys started sharing a bath this week. Getting them both in, holding the buoyant Felix down while Miles "swims like a fish" requires more skill than you know. They go CUH-RAZY in there. Screaming, splashing, flopping, hitting, throwing. (Are these my kids?). They have a blast, but the only word that comes to mind is "bonkers." Until our tub mat and faucet guard arrive from Amazon, I have to hold Felix's leg for the entire bath, while using my other hand to wash both boys. I cannot even explain how difficult it is to get the boys clean. They both came out of the tub with bubbles in their hair tonight. I'll get a video on it sometime-it's sheer insanity, and I end up completely soaked...

...which is a good thing, because then I cannot see how wet Miles's pee makes my pants. Tonight, Miles kept telling me he was peeing in the bath. So, when I got him out while I was drying Felix, I figured he could stand there in the buff without the threat of a sprinkle. Not the case. Immediately as I set him on the ground, he started to pee...straight on Felix's penis. I know, what are the chances? Again, this kid has skills. I said "UH OH!" Miles stopped peeing, looked at me, and then proceeded to pee all over my leg. Then he moved to the side of Felix while I was drying up all of the pee, and Felix decided to examine Miles's genitals. 

I almost considered throwing them back in the bath...and joining them.



  1. I'm sorry. I know it's not funny to you, but it sure made me laugh. You will have to start wearing a wet suit for bath time!
    The choking incident must have been terrifying - phew!
    It's a good thing they're cute!!!!

  2. About the outlet protectors -- this is what we use, works great. Until they figure out how to use a screwdriver (!)

  3. Hilarious! You will miss these moments someday, really,