Thursday, November 11, 2010

Roe v Wade, the toddler version

Here is your preparatory reading: This morning one of my friends posted on Facebook that the Duggar Family was making an announcement on the Today Show. That is the family whose mother has been pregnant for like 70% of her life and boasts 19 and a half children or so at the age of like 45. (The last of her children was born in December at a little over 1lb and spent a good few months in the NICU. I was on bedrest during that time...and read a lot of trash magazines. Between her delivery, the one Kardashian girl, and an ex Playboy playmate, Kendra, I was "in" on all of the celebribabies born in December 2009). I'm not sure if the Duggar family qualify as "quiverfull," but I do know they subscribe to the belief that God will bless them with as many children as s/he wants them to have...and luckily, TLC is blessing them with a paycheck to support them. Let me stop there before I get heated. Anyway, apparently the announcement was not that the mom is pregnant again, but that one of their children is expecting a baby.

Fast forward to dinner tonight. And a situation that was immediately followed by Eric saying, "I sense a blog post." And me thinking,  "no kidding...but I may just lose a few more readers for recounting this one." But have I ever held back before??

Scene: Felix is slapping the table and giving himself a butternut squash facial. Miles is training to be the next Takeru Kobayashi and shoveling an entire toasted cheese in his mouth.The boys seemed occupied, so I thought I would actually have an adult conversation with the Hubs. And by adult, I mean sharing Facebook news.

Ali: Guess what? That Duggar Family made an announcement on the Today Show this morning.

Eric: Don't tell me that the Mom is pregnant again! Or did she do something crazy and announce she had an abortion?

Pause--abortion isn't something to joke about. Okay, resume. 

Ali: Yeah, like she would go on TV and say (Ali affects a little girl voice) "I am so happy to announce after 19 children, I had an abortion."

And happened.

Miles: (in his best little girl voice) "I had an abortion!"

Ali, Eric: WHAT?!?!?!

Miles: "I had an abortion." Mommy's turn! (As in, Mommy's turn to say it again)

Ali looked at Eric, and Eric looked at Ali, and we could do nothing but laugh. Again, not in the "oh, you are such a cute boy, Miles!" But in the "are you kidding me? Did he really just say that?"

The problem with laughter and toddlers is that it provokes them. And the problem with the word abortion is that it does not contain any of the syllables that Miles has a hard time we couldn't even pretend he said something completely different.

He said it one more time, looking for a reaction, and after Eric remarked that I had a blog post in the making, we immediately diverted the conversation and attention to Felix.

Looks like along with spelling c-o-o-k-i-e and i-c-e- c-r-e-a-m. We now need to spell a-b-o-r-t-i-o-n. Luckily, we don't talk about it a lot. I knew we were at that stage where he hears, repeats, and is starting to understand almost everything, but this really drove the point home.

But then the night turned to a better page when Felix discovered one of life's great inventions, the consonant, and said, "Da Da." Now, he said "Da Da." And what he meant was "this is a vocalization I am presenting to you that has no meaning, but don't I sound cute?"

Although, he does look at Eric when we ask him who Daddy is...and at times does the same with Miles.

And when you ask him who Mommy is, he just slaps me in the face...or bites my deltoid.

As long as he doesn't start saying "abortion," I think we'll be okay.


  1. With full knowledge that abortion is not funny...Grandpa and I laughed and laughed to hear about Miles' clear vocalization! The written version is even funnier. Ah kids!

  2. Thanks for a good laugh, Ali. I wish we were closer so I could see all of you in person, but feel lucky that you take the time share your stories! Love, Auntie Shirl