Monday, March 28, 2011

The Butcher

Remember this?

Just replace the creeptastic Johnny with my face, and the smiling "stepford-y wife" with Miles.

I butchered Miles's hair today.
From Mar 27, 2011

He needs it cut every 3 weeks--and that ain't an exaggeration (Mahna, can you testify?) I've spent over a year perfecting my cutting technique, even upgrading on my Tweezerman hair scissors. And outside of the one French School girl job I did last summer, sometimes feel one step shy of opening my own toddler cut shop.

But this morning at 8am, I had two kids with week old fevers, dissolving with every minute, complicating things.

My 2 year old was doing the chair truffle shuffle.

My 1 year old was doing his best Chewbacca moan while pulling down my pajama pants.

(Miles spoke Mandarin in the beginning. Felix code switches between Chewbacca and Ewok.)

I think I flashed the entire street after Felix got one last good "yank" on my pants--and didn't care.

And then? The dreaded CHOP was placed right at the edge of Miles's cowlick. While my pants were around my ankles and Chewbacca was screaming for Han Solo or a hug from Princess Leia or something.

I could hear Eric saying "Less is more, honey. Stop. And pull up your pants."

But he wasn't there in the flesh. He was running. And I went all Edward Scissorhands.

And also discovered he has another cowlick in the front of his head.
From Mar 27, 2011
From Mar 27, 2011
(Is he too young to convince the masses he cut a chunk out of his own hair, and I was just doing damage control? I mean, I cut myself SIDEBURNS in preschool. I was fashion forward, what can I say?)

The worst--I think I cut him into a 4 year old boy. (Is that stubble I see? Oh no, it's just CHRONIC RUNNY NOSE. I promise I wipe that thing every 3 minutes. We are a family of runners I guess.)
From Mar 27, 2011
From Mar 27, 2011
From Mar 27, 2011
And he apparently took the role as a 4 year old seriously, cuz he independently peed on the potty!

(And then peed through 2 consecutive pairs of underwear.)

Let's just actually get to 3 years before we start looking 4, okay Miles?

I tried to redeem myself later in the morning with Felix's cut.
From Mar 27, 2011
From Mar 27, 2011
And I would like to note that the first picture is probably one of 3 times this kid has smiled in the past week. It hurts my soul to see one of the most happy kids do nothing but moan for a week straight. Sick kids is the worst.

Onward and upward.

Reminder! Giveaway ongoing. See previous post. I love reading everyone's promises!

And to keep my honest, for SD, some more progress on "Tortellini". I had to take a break because I ran out of cotton to stuff, so I started your Mr K a hat, too.
From Mar 27, 2011
From Mar 27, 2011


  1. Honestly, this post had me laughing out loud! Truth - Miles does require a hair cut every 2-3 weeks, although this one might be a 4 week-er. He does look older. The one with his tongue out hints at teen attitude...
    It was great to see a smile on poor sick Felix and also to see that you've still "got it" as far as hair cutting expertise goes. Cheer up. In my day I actually carved into Seth's arm when he wiggled too much during a hair cut. Talk about Edwinna Scissorhand!!!
    Again, Miles's hair will grow in soon.
    I can attest to the tissue gobbling little boys, too. Buy stock in tissues!

  2. I agree, this is hilarious! Having many bad haircuts in my day, I can assure you it will grow back. In the meantime, how fast can you knit a hat?! There's always an Easter bonnett. But they look pretty cute anyway. Hope you are all better soon!

  3. Well, the good thing about butchering a toddler's hair, is that he doesn't care!!! He doesn't even know! Yay!

  4. The elefante looks so cute!! I'm so excited! And so glad to hear the boys are feeling better.