Sunday, June 5, 2011

Patent Pending

In my spare time, I scheme up all sorts of creations I want to mass produce to vulnerable parents (myself included) and end up on one of those programs "self-made millionaire-ss."

My friend AS just informed me that Target is now selling friendship bracelets. I mean--who didn't make buckets of these back in 1990? I actually used to use multiple toes to create more than one bracelet at a time I was so obsessed. And now someone is making millions on them through Target.

And what about the person who created the hooter hiders? It's essentially a piece of cute fabric you throw over your baby while nursing. (In full disclosure, I had one and really liked it--but will admit that a blanket worked really well, too.)

Snack traps--"McGyvered" tupperware

Baby Legs? Cut up tube socks. (Again, I LOVE these and have way too many pairs for my own good. They are now being used as arm warmers and probably will for as long as my boys let me put leg warmers on their arms.)

I have mentioned before that I would like to sell Petzl headlamps for parents to use when tiptoeing into their babies' rooms and check on them. I know, I know, EVERYONE has video monitors now, but there have to be a few of us old schoolers who opted out of the video monitor craze. Plus, as we recently discovered, they are GREAT for giving moonlit baths when your power is out for 30 hours.

I'll just invest in some fun elastic patterns for the headband part, jack the price up $5, and convince Babies R Us to put it in the "your child will NEVER get into college if you don't get this registry item" category.

And for my other sleep deprived inventive ideas:

  1. The Boogie Belt. Maybe I'll work with the Boogie Wipes empire. This is more geared toward childcare facilities when they are outside on play spaces. Basically, it is like a fanny pack on steroids. Instead of one pouch in the front, it has smaller compartments all around (think running water belt). There is one area for Boogie Wipe dispensing, one for regular tissue dispensing, and a lined area (think cloth diaper wet bag) for used "tissues" that snaps in and out so you can wash it easily--like in the dishwasher. Depending on if the childcare facility allows, there would also be a holster area for non-alcoholic hand sanitizer (CleanWell). I'm sure there are other things we could snap on and off of the belt. Perhaps make them customizable like those 1154 Lill studio bags. Given that most childcare workers are females, I could totally capitalize off of their desire to do fun things like custom bag parties. Maybe even have custom booge belt parties! Choose your fabric, elastic, fun wet bag design, etc.
  2. Stealth Steps. This invention is part of the middle of the night product line (I am still working on a creative name for the Petzl headlamp). This is more geared toward us hardwood floor/older home folks. Whenever I put Felix down to sleep, I have to creep out, watching to prevent even a piece of my baby toe hit the 4th floorboard--or a resounding CREAK echos, and Felix bolts up. Let me tell you--my boys have slept through every thunderstorm, but a floorboard creaking? Even worse, my HIP cracking (it does all.of.the.time), and it's like a bomb has gone off. or the slight will rouse the beast. I've pretty much identified the path of least creakiness, but sometimes I under or over shoot--enter Stealth Steps. (Great for babysitters who don't know the topography of your floors). Basically, it is a lined footprint (just the outline, not the whole footprint) of glow in the dark tape that you can put on the floor so in the dark, you can see exactly where to step. Easy to remove for when the baby is old enough to not care you are secretly leaving the crib side (there are others who have to creep out of their baby's rooms, no? We used to be able to with Felix, but we have entered the 15-18 month sleep regression. Topic for another day.)
  3. This is the newest item to my product line that Eric and I discussed today. It's a smile shield--name still with our creative team. This is explicitly for that time period when your children's "naughty" behavior borderlines on hysterical--but you cannot show weakness and laugh or smile in front of them, or they get encouraged. BOTH Miles and Felix are in this stage. They love being naughty--getting your attention--and then laughing really hard. The worst right now is standing up on chairs and high chairs. Emphasis on HIGH chairs--when a 17 month old and 3 year old stand on them, they are HIGH! And I immediately have myocardial infarctions. But the less risky move I deal with every day is them standing on the couch or the upholstered chairs. They'll say "look at me!" or if it is Felix "Ma!"(and then a grunt of something indiscernible) And they have a look on their face like they are the hottest thing in town, laughing, and the moment you say "ON YOUR BOTTOM PLEASE!" then jump onto their bottoms. Sometimes it really peeves me off...but other times, Eric and I laugh at how rotten they can be. When you try to discipline, and they give you that ear to ear grin, we work so hard at not smiling. So, if we could have this mask that has a stern "I am serious, don't mess with a parent" mouth on it that you could just paste on during those times, it would be great. Clearly this idea is more fun in theory.
It's these "issues" of parenting--the problems that aren't really problems, but annoyances--are, in a strange way, what makes it "fun." Sometimes, it's nice to focus on the little things when you have no "big things" to contend with.

But anyone willing to invest--I'm all ears. :)


  1. Genius! Seriously, I'd buy all of them.

  2. Love these! We've had some serious issues with the creaky floor wake-ups, too, so I'd definitely be into that one! I have a few up my sleeve as well, and have even gone as far as to get some patent info...but then I stopped there. Too much start-up money required.

  3. awesome...all of them :0)
    I would big bucks for your smile current method of turning my back on my 2 year old (mid-scolding) to laugh is not working out very well...