Summon the Heroes, playahs!
Once you make the connection, you may thank me for replacing the Jofess soundtrack that is circling in your brain with some of John William's Olympic fanfare.
My husband is on a 5 day holiday in Eugene, Oregon to watch the Olympic track trials. He kindly sent me this photo of the view on his descent into Portland:
And in the spirit of Olympic competition, I challenged him with my daily view:
Honey, you may have one window with a stellar view, but I have two screens and a nursing curtain still tacked to my office window. Winning! (Um, not only did I just reference Charlie Sheen's drug-inspired, tired, and overused quip...but I also did it on an uninterrupted night of sleep. Listen, I have a soft spot in my heart for Sheen since Hot Shots Part Deux. And we are also talking about a girl who catches any and all entertainment news during the aftershocks. I may have just heard about that song "Call Me Maybe" within the past two weeks. And that's only because I saw my non-sexual boyfriend Jimmy Fallon with the Roots perform it on YouTube after a lead from a Facebook friend of a friend...of a friend. Move over Olympic score, and I bless you with Carly Rae Jepson and some mad plastic toy xylophone-age. )
Eric called me from the Portland airport to show me how bucolic it was. (I mean, as pastoral as an airport can get.) I guess the weather was like 70 and sunny, and I think there were airport shepherds laying their BPA-free sheep out to pasture.
Again, in the spirit of competition, I threw a little Mr Sun in his face, too. (Emphasis on Saturday.)
During his layover to Eugene, he had an organic beer and I think some locally grown dinner harvested and made by a commune of kids who go to farm school. He was slightly delayed because I think they had to refuel the plane with the leftover organic barley, hops, and cannabis (whatever they make beer out of), which served as the clean jet fuel alternative. Eric passed the airport security's mandatory BMI screen and cycling time trial (though I hear you can opt for a Segway if not a seasoned cyclist), and was off to the land of health and fitness.
Listen, I'm envious and secretly want to live in the northwest, but until they get that whole Wonkavision out of beta testing and secured for the mass market, I'm not moving any farther away from family.
But I am also really happy for Eric. He deserves this break and I cannot imagine a more invested spectator.
More importantly: we have been promised souvenirs.
The obvious choice?
Enjoy the trials, Eric. We miss you.
*Listen, before you sick the Hobbits of America on me, hobbits are in my wheelhouse of things I can make fun of: cancer, pre-term labor, anxiety disorder, adult acne, and lutropublicaphobia. My brother played one in elementary school. And in the world of fictional characters, hobbits are totally on the cute end. Also, Rupp just happens to be a sick a$$ runner who can look like Sloth from Goonies and the world would still admire him. (Oh, I can make fun of Sloth, too.)