Apparently, I make all life decisions with the guidance of Pinterest (okay, and maybe my husband, mom, good friends..and a lil prayer.)
Life has stabilized (thank jeebus), and I am enjoying relative calm these days. What that also means is that my anxiety (what? me get anxious?) is not such a demon anymore. What that also means is that I don't look quite as much like [fill in with a celebrity who went through a too thin phase, but with more acne and less money]. It's a tricky little angle, that anxiety plays on me.
Ha! Not only are you going to be anxious 24 hours a day, but I am going to make all food unappetizing and let you loose a bunch of weight. But instead of being able to complain to anyone about it, you have to suffer in silence because NO ONE LIKES A THIN GIRL TALKING ABOUT WEIGHT. Besides, no one is going to believe you, and instantaneously diagnose you as having an eating disorder, and whisper to each other about how you secretly love being thin. You see previews for NBC's Biggest Gainer? That's right, Ali, it doesn't exist.
Before you all follow-up your eye rolling with the mimicked finger in the throat "gag" number, I'll stop.
And for the few peeps who have dealt with this as well, my condolences. Society can be so, so, so cruel to those struggling with weight...and that's at both ends of the spectrum.
Part of my Biggest Gainers plan (without the help of Trainers Bob of Dolvett, unfortunately) has been a philosophy of carte blanche: eat whatever I can stomach, whenever. A calorie is a calorie...even at midnight, and the bigger bang for my buck, the better.
The trouble is, I tend(ed) to lead a relatively healthy lifestyle, so this wasn't the easiest plan to adopt.
Then it got fun.
Then I enjoyed ice cream far too often each week.
Then Thursday became Papa John's night. (Is it bad the delivery guy knows me and my kids now?)
Then cheese became my third child.
But then I finally gained back the weight I had lost, it just didn't follow the strategic geographical location plan I had hoped for.
I don't mind the weight, I just mind the distribution and composition. I'd rather it be muscle (
or fat in my bra). But there was that whole exercise thing I reduced.
So now I am on diet detox.
And (hopefully) an exercise binge. Okay, a comfortably overstuffed experience would be better.
I hate the word diet, because it's not about restricting calories, but reassigning them. And I hate the word binge, because it's followed up too often with the word purged, and I have a pathological fear of throwing up.
And I have decided that before 2013, I am going to do one of two things: run (and hopefully PR in) a half marathon, or increase my family.
I know...totally equal in proportion and responsibility.
But I figure, before the decision is made (with the consult and participation--duh--of Eric in both), cleaning up my eating and getting a little more sweaty will get me closer to one of those goals a lot easier.
You still here?
Okay, so I've been obsessed with Pinterest surfing at night in my bed. (I told Eric that there would be consequences to getting rid of cable.)
I've pinned a handful of really decadent food items, but am trying to focus on the more "healthy" side. (I write this while I sip on a, yes, you'll be shocked, a CAN OF COKE). And I know, healthy is subjective depending on who you talk to, and what food philosophy you subscribe to.
My promise is that if and when I pin a healthy-as-defined-by-me idea, I must try it within the week.
*Note: I made no promises of anything related to posting about it on the blog. That's too much accountability at this point.
I started with the chickpeas the other week.
This week, it is The Yummy Life's Overnight, No-Cook Refridgerator Oatmeal.
Or I call (with a cockney accent) porridge, pease! (And then I start reciting the pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold rhyme until my cockney turns into brogue.)
Here's a visual shout for my porridge at work today:
I made the raspberry vanilla recipe. I assembled it last night and then this morning was so excited to see it "set" and ready for me to eat today!
Okay, visually, I'm not going to lie.
It looks like throw up.
It really does.
But the taste is good. NEV: no evidence of vomit!
I think the preserves and the vanilla helped a lot.
And the ch-ch-ch-CHIA!
And the mason jar; everything looks better in a mason jar.
So, I'm going to try to make this my staple mid-morning snack from now on. Tomorrow I'm going to try blueberry/almond. And then, maybe mango tango?
And in case you think that I am the type to go wacko-jacko-balls-to-the-wall-insane about healthy eating, I made these lemon cookies this weekend as well.
(LGM, you may be getting some in exchange for some newborn cuddling.)