Friday, July 20, 2012

Things that make you go "hmmmm"

I am part of a lovely Mother's Group in my neighborhood.

And isn't it true that the second you use "lovely" to describe something you instantaneously think of women sipping tea with beautifully milled hats? (Okay, so I *may* have high jacked the profession of a Milliner and created a new definition of milled. My blog. My rules.) 

Statistically, I think it is made of mostly Moms who do not work outside of the house. (Is that the politically correct what to say stay at home mom?) But there is a contingency of us Moms who work outside of the home. It's tough when many of the group activities occur during 9-5 business hours, but I have found that over the past year, there have been more nighttime opportunities, and that the vibe is more inclusive of those of use who "cannot" (or do not wish to) stay at home full time with our children.

But sometimes, I get a little sting of jealousy when I hear about all the fun the Moms have during the day with their children. Or, when a well meaning Mom posts this to our Facebook page:

"Staying home with the children can be difficult at times, but, I have decided that through it all my WORST day at home still beats my BEST days at work!"

Hear me out. I'm not going to go all postal on you.

Listen, I get it, and part of me doesn't doubt it. This Mom's feelings are her own evaluation of her situation, and I get it. 

Yes, I choose to work so that we may maintain a certain  standard of living. (One step up from Ramaan and straw mats.) And yes, there are days I am secretly breathing a sigh of relief that I am going into work after a really terrible morning getting the boys out of the house. I have never claimed to be a perfect Mom, remember.

But let me be clear that the choice is not easy, and has not come without guilt or regret. When there is ambivalence in a decision, hearing affirmations like the one above stings a little.

I pause. 
Go "hmmmmm."
And then breathe.

My life's choices may not be easy.
But I own them.

And I have to believe that at the end of the day, I am doing the best I can with the resources (physical, emotional, spiritual, financial) I have. 

Aren't we all?

1 comment:

  1. So true. Each woman needs to do what makes sense for her and her family's situation and feel good about it. Then we need to honor one another's life choices and support one another because it's challenging for every family for one reason or another. At the same time, it's wonderfully rewarding (and the choice not to have children needs to be honored as well).