Thursday, November 1, 2012

Let me stop you before you ask...

First, can we please just laugh over this photo? I was trying to stage a shot of the boys crawling through my legs while I was posing with my Halloween "reveal" shirt. The caption options here are endless.

 Or how about this one? Oh Fe...

And *this* is the kind of stuff that makes me want to do this whole pregnancy/baby/kid/debt thing all over. For a third (and a quarter) time...but that's it. Period. (Yes, period, please come back in the spring. TMI?)

An advantage of having done this pregnancy a few times before is that I can anticipate all of the questions that are asked of you when people find out you are expecting. It's not that I mind the questions, it's that I want to get back to shoving my face full of Trader Joe's sea salt pita chips and reduced guilt guacamole.

  • How are you feeling? First 13 weeks? Bliss! Outside of the undisclosed piles of weight I have gained (watch out Kim K, I've got some T and A!), I have had little to no symptoms. But what up random 2nd trimester nausea?
  • When are you due? April 22. (Or as my mom calls it, my "ha-ha" due date.)
  • How far along? Almost 15 weeks and handful of days.
  • Were you trying for a girl? Do you think it's a girl? Are you hoping for a girl? Are you going to find out if it is a girl? (ie, gender inquiries) Lemme break each of these down:
    • We "tried" to get pregnant I don't really believe in the trying for a girl/boy. But maybe because I gave up Google for lent and just don't have the energy to research a concept I'm not really sure I believe in.  
    • I think it is a healthy baby.
    • I am hoping for a healthy baby. Would we like a girl?  Sure, we would just need to take out a 3rd mortgage. Would we like a boy? Sure, we would just need to train this boy to clean toilet seats straight out of the shoot. With my 2nd pregnancy, I felt a lot of gender pressure, so I think I got through a lot of those "what if I never have a girl?" conflicts I imagine many pregnant women with boys are saddled with during subsequent pregnancies. Sure, I readily admit it is hard watching close friends go on girl dates with their daughters, but that is what nieces are for! I know people obsess about gender prediction. I'm not really one of those, but for fun, I looked up the tests, and here are some data points that people make predictions off of:
      • My Chinese age at conception was 34. (Half of the "calendars" say girl, half of the predictor calendars say boy.)
      • Heart rate: 8 weeks = 179;  12 weeks =  down to 158
      • I sleep on my right side exclusively
      • I crave coffee, salty/sour, and fresh doughnuts
      • I don't really carry high or low--I carry very "internal."
      • Nausea only appeared starting week 13.
      • Both Eric and I have gained weight.
      • Everyone in my online due date club says "boy". (Maybe due to what looked like a "nub" on my 12 week 3D/4D ultrasound?)
      • Miles thinks we are having a boy
      • Eric thought girl last 2 times, now thinks boy
      • I thought boy last 2 times, and now think boy
      • Felix just picks his nose when asked.
    • No matter what, it will be a surprise come April. Sorry, Charlie (or Charlotte?).
  • What are you going to do about your car situation? I've put in a request to Santa for a swagger wagon (right after a term delivery).
  • What are you going to do about the fact that your house is the size of a bread box? Nothing. We are going to enjoy the close quarters, maybe drink a few more glasses of wine at night (I kid), but in my heart of hearts, think this is going to do wonders for any superfluous spending, acquisition of "junk", and ability to figure out new and fun ways to connect as a family. Plus, I am sure in a decade we'll expand (the house, not my uterus), or move.
  • Are you worried about finances? Yup. And I would be with just 1 child. As I said above, I think this is going to make us more honest with our spending. I also think that $ does not award happiness. And I believe that the cost burden of children reduces with each subsequent birth (or so says NPR, so it has to be fact). Sure, I have envy in relation to my friends and family who have lots of disposable income, but I don't think it gives an automatic pass in life to the road to perfection. In fact, I know it doesn't. Sure, we won't do luxurious vacations or be able to travel easily, but I truly think that we will make less material impact on this world, and far more positive emotional and charitable impact with our actions.
  • What are you going to do about work? Million dollar if you know the answer, clue me in, okay? I can confirm that the likelihood of me being a SAHM full time is pretty slim. Like Rachel Zoe slim. (See bullet above.)
  • Do you have names? We've got a good list. And lest you think that you will be gobsmacked when we announce if a penis or vagina comes out (hopefully not both), I promise you that his/her name will distract you enough from being surprised, disappointed, excited, about what lies between the legs. But just so you know, I've already 86'd may of Eric's choices: Huckleberry and Trixie. Miles wants to name the baby his best friend's name if it is a boy, and "Jesus" if it is a girl. 
  • Are you nervous about delivering early? Not really. I can't explain it, but I feel very at peace with this whole situation. I am terrified of delivering a baby past 35 weeks b/c I tore with both boys (a 4lber and 5lber), but it's a price I will pay if I can deliver at term or full term. (It's one of those dirty little secrets women don't talk about, but anyone with any degree of tearing needs to know that it still scares me third time around.) And even though I did both previous births epidural free, I am not ruling one out this time. The only thing I rule out is birthing in the field...hopefully. I am also starting weekly progesterone butt shots next week and imagine some oral procardia and bed rest will be prescribed along the course.

I have to tell you, third time is sort of a charm. I feel far more relaxed and capable this time around. I don't fear the sleepless nights. (I am also not going to lie, I anticipate my attachment parenting may hide in the corner with "ear muffs on" at some point to make room for a more gentle Ferber or No Cry sleep solution. And I'm almost convinced I can figure out a way to get Eric to nurse.) I look forward to the chaos and mustard smelling poopy diapers. (Who am I kidding...a kingdom for a child to be born potty trained. I would take it over male middle of the night nursing any day.) Mostly, I look forward to this last player of our immediate family joining the game.

Now, can someone refill my guac, please?


  1. Please frame that first picture immediately. Yay baby! Can't wait.

  2. so many comments! First, you don't look as though you've gained much weight, and I think neither you nor Eric will be harmed by the addition of a few pounds. In my experience, your weight gain ends up being just what nature intends. I am sorry about all the gender comments you are fielding. Even I get them! I am just excited about a new baby Heintz whomever he or she will be - a personality all his or her own. Good luck with the whole clean toilet seat (and adjacent wall & floor) thing if you add a boy. I never found the magic solution to that issue. The sacrifices you will make with the addition of a third will be worth it, I promise. I do hope and pray that you will find a job that will be a more family friendly one. Believe it or not, it becomes more important for Mom (and/or Dad) to be available as the children grow and become active and involved. I am glad to know you are at peace with your health and prospect of what's to come. That is another advantage of the third go around. Also, know that I will be there if needed. Promise.

  3. Congratulations, Ali! This is super exciting news. I'm so thrilled for you and your family. :) Hugs!

  4. I'm so happy for you both (please excuse the late comment) and for your boys to have another sibling. Three children--what a wonderful family! And what is it about preschoolers naming future siblings "Jesus"?

    Random thought and offer of free labor (not the kind you're thinking of): please, please, please do not make a onesie out of that shirt! Baby Heintz will grow out of it too fast. I volunteer to make a quilt for you out of the front section of your shirt and any other baby items you want to hold on to later but don't really know what to do with.

    Another thought/question for you, this time about labor (so sorry to add to your list above): Have you ever considered water birth?