In my old age, my eyesight is failing me. I might as well be legally blind. It's a good thing my computer has little nubs on the "f" and "j" keys or this could read a bunch of garbldy-gook.
Actually my eyesight is near perfect.
I have no wisdom teeth and my eyesight is crystal clear.
You know, my dentist told me I am higher on the evolutionary ladder.
You bet your bottom dollar that's a bullet on my resume.
Okay, so the wisdom teeth part is true, but I have to thank Emory Healthcare for good vision. I had awful vision until I got them all zapped and fixed in grad school. Please don't anyone find any pictures from middle school of me and post them anywhere public. So.very.tragic.
But it is true that over time my balls (eyeballs that is) have changed a bit and the eye doc said I could get glasses just to make them all over-corrected again. Or, I could continue to see near perfectly.
I opted for the latter because Eric told me he fell in love with the "me" after 9pm when I took my contacts out (only on Fridays...you know I slept with those suckers in days on end) and put on the sultry library tortoise shell glasses I had prior to laser surgery.
And someone told Eric on our anniversary this summer that the 7 year itch is a lie...it's the 6th year that things fall apart. (Who does that? And no, they are not getting a holiday card this year.)
So I am upping my game, and I got a pair of specs for Eric. Actually, I got two pairs. It's a good thing, because now I can see those serifs so clearly, I might as well be a typographical guru. (Does that pay well?)
A few months back, I ponied up about $16 and got a pair of glasses from Global Eyeglasses. It was simple pimple and I used the live camera function to "try on" glasses. I also used a sewing measuring tape to guess-ta-mate my pupillary distance. I use them in the car for my driving-chic look. People take me SERIOUSLY when I pull a u-ee. But I take them off when parking because everyone knows (especially my old co-worker Ryann from work--calling you out) that I can't park. I can't let anyone take me seriously while parking. Although, it's a genetical issue, not visual. Just like my propensity for making up words.
And then I heard from a blog friend of a blog friend of a blog friend (and by blog friend I mean "blog I stalk and pretend I am friends with the author") that this company called firmoo has free eyeglasses! You just pay shipping.
Totally. Seriously. Legit.
And with my (lack of) prescription, I don't need any fancy-dancy lenses or any sort of upgrade. So for some change, I just got the following specs.
These are for my daytime look.
And apparently my "saving my marriage" look.
Eric approved. Phew! I was worried about the stability of our relationship.
That bottom Instagram shot there? It's a two-for. You get to see the new glasses and my freshly $5 Natural Instincts Creme dyed hair. I couldn't hold out. Sorry nugget in the belly...but I had to. I Google'd the $hit out of hair dye and pregnancy, and am feeling okay with the 28 day dye choice. And think I'm sticking with #21 Natural Instincts Creme for the duration. Someone at work told me my face looked fat, and I credit it to the gray. Not the fact that I've gained a pile of weight while pregnant.
So, what are you waiting for? Go get a pair of glasses! It's the newest accessory. Right after the pick jetting straight out of the hair (that's still cool, right?).
And while you are at it, take 10 minutes and dye your hair.
It'll save our marriage.
Glasses and free marriage counseling. What am I doing thinking of a career change to typography?
I have not been contacted, encouraged, or forced into writing about firmoo, Global Eyeglasses, or Natural Instincts regarding this post. All opinions are my own, but I am more than willing and ready to accept free swag, try it out, and/or do a giveaway from any of these companies. Just sayin'.