Tuesday, September 24, 2013

SOTU: Felix Josef

SOTU: Felix Josef

I'm not sure why Obama is considering costly airstrikes when I can just have Felix head over to Syria and force Al-Assad stop the atrocities via laughter and a good tickle fight. This kid can make anyone smile. But he can also cause his Mama to wave the white flag and scream "I surrender!"  

Felix is still bringing new life to being a three-nager AND a middle child. And he has the capacity to be on the move every waking minute. While he was my chunkiest baby, his metabolism went into high gear and the kid sports triceps and a 6 pack. Along with his well developed muscles, this child's imagination and thirst for adventure make me feel both incredibly lazy and also appreciative that I have a child who knows how to play with the best of them.
See that above? That was our pet "jingle-heimer" for quite a bit of time. Felix found him outside and needed to put him in our bug box. I examined him closely, and referred to our bug encyclopedia, and confirmed that in fact...it wasn't a bug at all. It was a piece of our holly tree. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he the proud owner of tree debris. According to Felix, he just had a case of Rip Van Winkle and was sleeping a lot. I'm not about lying to my kids, but this was just too precious not to go along with.

And this? It's "breast milk turkey soup" of course. Felix imagines all sorts of crazy things when he takes a bath with Gus. And thank goodness Gus is so Chalm, because he gets totally manhandled.

Oh, and this? Okay, this has nothing to do with imagination. Just Felix chewing his toenail off. It's classic Felix for you.
Felix is downright obsessed with "guys": good guys/bad guys, super heroes, Star Wars...etc. There used to be a part of me that wanted to shelter the boys from knowing about this kind of stuff. And while they have never seen the movies or cartoons, they still know about the characters from friends at school. And sometimes I really do enjoy seeing them pretend play with each other--even when they have a light saber constructed from electrical tape and a pool noodle. Listen, I had my Barbies. They can have their "guys."
Obi Wan Wasabi
But Felix. Oh, Felix. He takes dress up and pretend play to a new level. He is in some sort of costume 90% of the time he is at home.
Why yes. I need a chef hat, winter hat, old sushi costume head band and a medal around my neck to read bedtime stories...don't you?
And the thing is, he doesn't even dress up all the time to *play* dress up, but just needs to be in some sort of costume to be fully functioning. Many times we bargain about what element of his costume he can wear when we go out in public: 

As Miles dutifully sings the star spangled banner, Felix is singing the praises of King of Pops.
Best part is that sometimes he just piles the costumes on and becomes what I call the multiple personality super hero.
Know what goes well with a Super Hero cape? Undies and evening gloves

One time I had him come to the store with me in a cowboy vest, Hawaiin shirt, backward pirate pants, an eye patch, and a rainbow snow hat on. Oh, and two different boots, both of which were backward. A year ago, I would have been certain to tell everyone that he dressed himself and feel embarrassed. Today? I secretly think, "flaunt it, kid."
And one time, I thought Felix was taking a nap with Eric, and I walked into the dining area to find him sitting at the table...bumble bee antennae on, Band-Aid on the shoulder, helping himself to a kale smoothie (Eric was still asleep on his bedroom floor).
And don't let a costume's size determine it's worth. We are talking about an 18 mo old Hulk costume here, folks. (Yes, that's some sort of food refuse on his face. Most days it's like wrestling an oiled pig trying to track him down and clean his face. I prefer just to wait until bath time and do the once over each night.)

He challenges me to use my imagination to keep him busy and occupied. This week, we inherited several cubic yards of wood chips (google that shiznat. It's a LOT) in our driveway. I decided that a great idea to keep the boys occupied while I painstakingly shoveled load after load around, was to have them dig for gold doubloons. The night before, I had Eric hide 3 bags of gold dollar coins in the pile. The next day, I forced them to go to Starbucks with me (I needed some caffeine) and I told them that I heard Tinker Bell say there was pirate treasure in the wood chips. Tinker Bell is my go-to girl I blame everything on. So, Felix had to first get in a transformers costume, obvi, and then we all sat down to make pirate maps from old Trader Joe's paper grocery bags.

And then we dug through the steaming pile of wood chips and had a blast...until about 9:30am when I had to think of another idea.

Whereas Miles and Gus tend to be okay with more down time, Felix needs entertainment. Or he can get testes.

Oops. Sorry. Autocorrect.

Wait, there isn't autocorrect on a blog?

No, that was just my painfully terrible transition to start talking about the next SOTU with Felix: brothah has an inguinal hernia. And a hydrocele (basically fluid accumulation) in his groin area. And we are in the process of getting surgery. Well, we were supposed to get it last week, but he caught the cold going around our house. And colds + Felix almost always = fever. They don't do non-emergency surgery on kids with fevers over 101. So, we needed to reschedule.

But his surgeon broke his finger.

OF COURSE HE DID! I mean...of all things to delay. So, I told the surgery scheduler that I need the Dr to work with all 10 digits. That puts us at Oct 4.

And while I don't have testicles or a scrotum, every time this kid gets a bath or goes to the bathroom, I instinctively grab my own crotch and shudder at what it feels like to have fluid and your intestine poking into your genitals. 

So, yeah. Send out the bat signal for Felix on Oct 4.

While there are days that I truly wonder how to manage and cultivate calm in such an intense little guy, I am also so thankful and grateful that he is part of our family. He makes us all laugh and realize that we could all stand to use our imaginations more.

And maybe wear a cape.

Update...*Funny story, I submitted this photo of Felix to Mommy Shorts method power pose off...and he appeared in her listing! Ha! The story behind this picture is that I was cleaning the boys' room, and he was on the floor crying at me to pick him up. I was ignoring him while taking things out of the closet to fold. Next thing I know, he "tantrumed" himself to sleep right like that on the ground. I guess super heroes get tired, too.


  1. I love this! What an amazing little guy. Felix sounds like he has a great imagination and sense of humor.I love this idea: SOTU on each member of the family!

  2. Felix is so. so. awesome. I think he and Mags are destined to be betrothed.